i am the church // i am the family

Tag Archives: tantrums

In an effort to not waste any time with what I watch as entertainment, I was thinking about “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” and parenting this last weekend. One, what an epic movie. Could they have picked a better guy to be cruel to the primates than Malfoy?

So…a big plot element of this movie is that James Franco injects the ALZ-112 drug into the chimp, Caesar; and things get pretty freaky tiki after that.

And I was wondering. This idea of “creating a monster” is definitely not a foreign concept to life or film. I think about the guys who invented the nuclear bomb or what occurs in the movie “Frankenstein.” And who can forget that one must not feed a Mogwai chicken after midnight. Gizmo was cute; Stripe and his buddies were utter chaos!

So…things get crazy after Caesar gets more and more intelligent (but not necessarily more mature) because of the drug.

As parents, what can be our ALZ-112 drug to our kids?

Is it that first time that you give in to a tantrum?
Is it letting a kid watch “Family Guy” for the first time because all his friends are?
Is it giving your toddler soda (aka, rocket fuel)?
Is it letting your teen go on a “date” date?

I guess we could parent scared when we think about all things that we could “do to” our kids that could open up a whole can of worms of craziness.

Give in to too many tantrums, and you’ll raise a brat.
Let your kids watch the Griffin family, and they’ll become sociopaths.
Teach your kid poor eating habits, and they’ll be doomed to a life of poor health.
Let them go on a date too early, and you’ll have to stock up on ammo to keep all the boys away.

It’s enough to make a man (or parent) crazy.

But we’re not alone in all this. Yes, there are wise decisions. And I would encourage parents to (in spite of the tantrums, the begging, the crying, or the guilt trips) still think about, as Andy Stanley puts it, “The Best Question Ever.”

My paraphrase of this great book would be that we need to look at all of our life’s decisions through the lens of this question:

In light of our past, present, and future, what’s the WISE thing to do.

God will grant us wisdom if we seek it.

But also, something tells me, if we mess up, God can still work with the fallout.

Thank God nothing is so absolutely catastrophic as injecting the ALZ-112 drug into chimpanzees. Although sometimes it may seem like the fate of the free world rests on our decisions, I really want to stick with the words of Jesus:

“Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

It doesn’t get more “weary” or “heavy laden” than feeling responsible for the growth of a child. I get that. I was holding Evie this morning, and she was just sleeping in my arms. And I was thinking to myself, in the words of Jimmy Buffett, “Little Miss Magic, what you gonna be?” This is a question loaded with unlimited possibilities and, possibly, unlimited space to freak out.

Jesus is calling us to trust. I say listen to Him.


Old Man Abraham had no kids at all, yet he was promised a “nation” worth of kids in his old age. I don’t think Abraham always had perspective of what the purpose of his family would be. A lot of times I wonder if us modern-day people really understand the purpose of family.

To some parents, parenthood is living vicariously through their kids. I’m thinking about “stage moms” (hence the “Toddlers in Tiaras” picture) and dads who push their kids to be the next great athlete (see Earl Woods or the Williams sisters’ dad).

To some parents, parenthood is a transitory thing, “I just want to raise them right. When they’re off in the real world, I’ll keep my fingers crossed.”

To some parents, parenthood is pleasing their kids, “I just wanted you to be happy and to have everything that I didn’t have.” Maybe another way to put these things is to “focus on the family.”

But I think Abraham from the get-go understood that he wasn’t supposed to focus on his family. How could he? He didn’t have a child, and his wife was old. Beyond that, though, there was always a higher purpose for his family. He was supposed to focus his family. God preempted all of this family stuff with Abraham with a promise:

“I will make you into a great nation,
and I will bless you…”

Most of us like to stop there. I mean, who doesn’t want to have bunch of kids and be blessed? Sounds like the American dream. But there’s more.

“I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you.”

There was a purpose behind Abraham’s family. Yes, they would be blessed; but, more than that, they will “be a blessing” and “all the peoples on the earth” will be blessed through them.

Is it any different for our kids? How do we lose focus?

I was literally interrupted writing this post (hence the ellipses) by Evie, who was crying in her crib. She needed attention. Mom was tired. I grabbed her and started to talk to her. I put on some Raffi (yeah, Spotify) and started singing with her and ended up having some great pre-work, daddy/daughter time.

How do we lose focus?

Our kids demand attention.

Whether it’s because of needs or wants, our kids are going to usually let you know what they’re wanting at every moment. And, as a parent feeling responsible for them, we’re going to do everything we can to communicate love or figure out problems. I see it with the mom whose son is flipping out in the checkout line at Foods Co because he wants a candy bar. I see it in the high school mom who doesn’t know what to do because her daughter is caught up in relationship drama. Our kids demand our attention.

Our kids are so easy to focus on.

I was sitting there just holding Evie last night, and I was thinking to myself, “Wow, this is an awfully cute baby!” We have these moments. We love to watch them, see them grow, see them succeed, watch them shine, etc. Our kids are easy to focus on.

Even so, I think God is calling us to have a deeper perspective of parenting; and I think Abraham’s life is going to be helpful to us as we look at this more in subsequent posts.

We focus on the family.

God calls us to focus the family.

More on that later…



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