Tag Archives: religious education

The Day I Became Orange

December 6, 2011

So, yesterday I officially became an “orange” dad. All this orange jive comes from the book “Think Orange: Imagine the Impact When Church and Family Collide…” by Reggie Joiner. It’s an awesome read that I’m reading in small chunks because it’s so, so rich with wisdom of WHY it’s so critical for the family and the church to partner together. In the book, Reggie says:

“There are two powerful influences on the planet–
the church and the home.

They both exist because God initiated them.

They both exist because God desires to use them
to demonstrate His plan of redemption and restoration.

If they work together they can potentially
make a greater impact than if they work alone.

They need each other.

Too much is at stake for either one to fail.

Their primary task is to build God’s kingdom
in the hearts and minds of men and women, sons and daughters.“

Word.

And yesterday was a great first day because MK and I actually got to drop Evie off in our pre-K ministry, which New Harvest calls “Starting Line.”

I wasn’t even remotely nervous because I know how competent the volunteers are, and I know that this is God’s plan for Evie. It was awesome to go to the front desk and have one of the volunteers, Ken, snap a picture of the “drop off” for posterity. [I wanted to bring my camera, but I didn't want to be "that guy" who brings his camera to everything. Thanks, Ken, for helping me have what I wanted!] Here’s that pic:

Then we dropped Evie off with Holly and Sam. It was really cool that Sam, one of our high school girls, was in there that morning! It just felt right. I know Jocelyn (our Starting Line Coordinator) probably made a few visits into the baby room to “see how Evie was doing” too. Evie was surrounded by love.

I love the aim of Starting Line. No, the aim isn’t just, “Survive crying, change diapers, and give them goldfish to eat.” Instead, they are going to do their best before she even enters kindergarten to help her realize that:

“God MADE Me
God LOVES Me
Jesus Wants to be My FRIEND Forever“

Awesome, awesome. The circle has officially widened beyond just family. Evie had some church up on Sunday. And it felt delightfully orange.

Oh, and she was fine. And so were we. After her day, full of Starting Line, “big church,” and Family Life Live, Evie actually slept through the whole night last night. A first. Awesome.

Posted by Paul Mannino in books, paul Tags: baby, connection, daughters, dropping off kids, family life live, fatherhood, fathering, god, identity, imagine the end, incite wonder, jesus, orange dad, orange philosophy, parenting beyond your capacity, reggie joiner, relationship, religious education, starting line, testimony, think orange

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970 Weekends Until I Lose My Marbles…

November 15, 2011

Wow…what an amazing, though-provoking post by Reggie Joiner that came up today. In it he says:

“We handed out jars of marbles to every family. There was one for each child in the home. There were enough marbles in each jar to represent the number of weekends children had left at home before they headed to college. For example there were jars with approximately–

468 marbles for 4th graders
364 marbles for 6th graders
208 marbles for 9th graders
104 marbles for 11th graders

Some parents used calendars to calculate the exact number of weekends for each individual child. They kept the jar in a visible place in their home and removed a marble each passing week to illustrate how much time they had left with their kids. It was a sobering visual reminder of how fast time goes.”

Sobering indeed. So I had to calculate. I will be dropping Evie (maybe “Evelyn” by then) to college sometime in August of 2030. That means I’ve got approximately 970 more weekends with her. Wow. I’ve already enjoyed the three that we’ve had. I can’t imagine what I’m going to do with the 970. I know that I want to turn up the dials in her life to show her that God is amazing, she is an amazing creation, and she can love and add value to others.

So…what’s your number for all your kids? I encourage you to read Reggie’s post.

What’s your number, and what are you going to do with the time that you have?

Posted by Paul Mannino in orange parents, paul Tags: baby, connection, creation, daddy daughter date night, daughters, dropping kids off for college, dropping off kids, fatherhood, fathering, fight for the heart, god, honor, identity, imagine the end, incite wonder, jesus, losing your marbles, opportunities, orange leaders, orange philosophy, parenting beyond your capacity, reggie joiner, relationship, religious education, security, sons, weekends with kids

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“The Slow Fade”: College Ministry Redefined

November 10, 2011

My friends from Orange sent me a book that I’ve been wanting to grab ever since it came out: “The Slow Fade” by Reggie Joiner, Chuck Bomar, and Abbie Smith. I was thumbing through it in the resource area at the Orange Tour but just didn’t buy it.

And then they sent it to me. I’m glad I waited, but I don’t think having two copies would be a bad thing (one to keep, one to share).

I was fascinated by how the Orange Philosophy fits into college/young-adult ministry. I mean, isn’t the whole idea of the Orange Philosophy for parents and the church to unite to raise up the next generation? College ministry has constraints. Sure, some of their parents are around their parents still or even still living at home; but, for the most part, college/young-adult ministry is about kids transitioning to adulthood (sans parents). So how does the Orange crew address it?

In two words: SIMPLY yet PROFOUNDLY.

In this quick read (I read it in two sittings), the three authors combine their voices to present a case of a relationship-driven (not program-driven college/young-adult ministry experience). The book progresses through the notion that, in most churches, this age group is pretty ghostly (almost invisible); but it’s not that hard to connect them to older people in the local church and help them “rematerialize” before the church’s very eyes.

I’ve got a bunch of ideas that I want to explore from this book (in no particular order):

* Abbie talks about the “mentors” she had when she was in college. Who were mine? Who were yours?

* Is it really that hard to find common ground with this age group? Here’s a hint: NO!

* An adult mentor can subtly turn the dials of WONDER at who God is, DISCOVERY of who they are in Christ, and PASSION for the world through a “mentor”-like relationship. And it’s not as hard as it sounds.

* There is a great template for how to connect adults in the church at large to people in this critical age group. I personally became convicted that, in order for the college/young-adult ministry at New Harvest (Reaction), to thrive and be sustainable, I’ve got to widen the circle of influence beyond me and Mary Kate.

* Once an older adult makes a connection with a person in this age group, it makes it that much easier to connect them to other people in the church who they glean maturity from.

* People in this age group want to not only be involved– they want to serve in a meaningful way. (Phew…at least I already knew one thing in this book. )

* The thing that works best in these mentor/mentee relationships is that there has to be humility on the part of the mentor to realize that both sides of the relationship are in a process of maturation– and they can grow and learn together.

* Chuck Bomar’s charge to ministry leaders should be a post in and of itself because of the richness of the challenges.

* “Old people” can say a lot of things that are unintentionally (but still have the effect of being) discouraging to college students and young adults. I love that the book provides some basic perspective shifts on some typical conversation points with this age group. Again, another post for another day. Rich (and kind of funny).

All in all, I think I have my marching orders. I’ve got to widen this net. There have to be more people involved in the lives of this “invisible” age group, otherwise we should not be surprised that our churches are aging out. We make a false assumption when we think that “Oh, this is just a phase. They’ll come back when they have kids.” Will they?

I’d rather keep them connected if it’s all the same and not throw up a white flag at the slow fade.

Posted by Paul Mannino in books Tags: abbie smith, chuck bomar, college ministry, connection, fatherhood, fathering, fuel passion, god, identity, imagine the end, incite wonder, jesus, leadership, mentors, orange leaders, orange philosophy, parenting beyond your capacity, perspectives, program-driven ministry, provoke discovery, reggie joiner, relationship, religious education, role models, struggles, testimony, the slow fade, young adult ministry

Every Parent Should Buy…

November 8, 2011

…”Parenting Beyond Your Capacity” by Reggie Joiner & Carey Nieuwhof. You can do it here.

No, seriously. You could buy four Starbucks drinks with the amount of money it costs and watch a week’s worth of Wheel of Fortune in the time that it would probably take to read it and realign your gauges for what’s important as a parent.

I am the skeptic of all skeptics. I don’t drink anyone’s Kool-Aid, even if it’s “orange” Kool-Aid. When I read a book, I think the burden of proof is always on the author to show me that what he/she is saying is the real deal.

That’s why it’s so remarkable that, when I read “Parenting Beyond Your Capacity,” I literally would get so excited about sections that I would have to tell my wife, “Hey, listen to this!”

The book is organized in a conversational tone from both authors to discuss ideas such as:

* A parent’s influence is best realized in partnership with the church.
[Orange 101]

* God isn’t holding up a perfect picture; He’s writing a bigger story.
[So stop trying to appear "perfect."]

* Pursue strategic relationships for your kids.
[You can't do this by yourself! No one can or should.]

* Focus your priorities on what matters most.
[Imagine the end. WHO do we want our kids to become?]

* Communicate in a style that gives the relationship value.
[Fight for the heart!]

* Increase the quantity of quality time you spend together.
[How do you interact with your kid? Is there a rhythm?]

* Put yourself first when it comes to personal growth.
[Does your faith make your kids believe more or less in God?]

* You can mobilize your family to demonstrate God’s love in a broken world.
[Focus the family.]

I’m on the early, early end of the parenting spectrum. Shoot, my baby is like, what, seventeen days old. But I’m hoping that I will still be implementing the strategies and ideas from this book when Evie is seventeen years old.

This is a resource that I can literally put in any parent’s hands if they are humble enough to ask for help!

I will hit more of this book as I continue to write on this blog because I’m now fully wrapped up in “Think Orange” (the mothership of Orange books– aimed at church leaders). What makes this book great, though, is that it speaks directly to the parent side of the equation. Good, good stuff.

I’m not saying this book is the end all be all, though. With that being said…

Are their any other parenting resources that you have read (or would like to share with me) that have really helped you as a parent (or you as a family ministry person) to grow up your kids in their faith?

Posted by Paul Mannino in books Tags: books on parenting, carey nieuwhof, communication, connection, create a rhythm, fatherhood, fathering, fight for the heart, god, honor, identity, imagine the end, incite wonder, jesus, make it personal, orange leaders, orange philosophy, parenting beyond your capacity, reggie joiner, relationship, religious education, right relationships, security, struggles, widen the circle

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Getting Ready

October 12, 2011

The nursery is starting to take shape. There are less than twenty days till the due date. Evie’s name is all over it. Literally. Others definitely have chipped in to set the room up. The lamp. The table. The rocker. The blanket. The monkey doll. And I just think of this room. More than anything, this is an invitation to CONNECTION.

Ultimately, this room says that “my mom and my dad want to be in a relationship with me.” It’s for her, but really it’s for us together. I can’t wait to sit in that rocker and read with her. I can’t to sing to her. I can’t wait to teach her how to pray.

As parents we need to remember our role in inviting our kids into a relationship with God. A friend reminded me of this Sunday evening while I was with a group of parents, praying for this generation of teenagers. He pointed out Psalm 78, a song by Asaph [please allow my paraphrasing for the purpose of clarifying]:

4 We will not hide [the things of God] from [the next generation];
we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD,
His power, and the wonders He has done.
5 He decreed statutes for Jacob
and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded [those who had faith in the past]
to teach their children,
6 so the next generation would know [who God is and what He expects of us],
even the children yet to be born,
and they in turn would tell their children.
7 Then [our children] would put their trust in God
and would not forget [all that God has done]
but would keep His commands.

Asaph’s reminding the followers of God in his time to not forget who God is and what He expects. I am so glad that God has revealed Himself in Jesus. We can be adopted into God’s family by His sacrifice on the Cross. He doesn’t lower God’s expectations by any stretch– He raises the expectation that there can be genuine intimacy with Him.

I think it’s similar to the feelings that I’m having toward Evie. I want her to be “good,” but I want to be close to her first. I want her “goodness” to be motivated from the relationship. Ultimately, we have to invite our kid(s) to make that kind of connection with God.

Question: How do you show your kid that you care more about the relationship than the rules?

Posted by Paul Mannino in paul Tags: asaph, baby, communication, connection, daughters, expecting parent, fatherhood, fathering, god, honor, identity, jesus, parenting beyond your capacity, psalm 78, relationship, religious education, right relationships, rules, sons

Orange Inspiration Song #1: “You Are the One”

October 1, 2011

Here’s an idea I had. I want to collect songs that make me think of my role (and God’s role) in the life of my kid (besides “Butterfly Kisses,” thank you very much).

Here is one that has a new meaning to me as I sit on the doorstep of our little Evie coming into the world. It’s all about how much God loves and knows us, “You Are the One” by Lincoln Brewster:

You’re the One Who made the Heavens
You’re the One Who shaped the Earth
You’re the One Who formed my heart
Long before my birth
I believe You’ll always lead me
All my days have been ordained
All Your thoughts toward me are holy
Full of love and grace

CHORUS:
You are the One You are holy
You are the One You are worthy
You are the One
You are the One everlasting
You are the One I will worship
You are the One I will serve all my days
You are the One
You are the One everlasting
You are the One
Jesus You’re the One

I love that line “You’re the One who formed my heart long before my birth.” Psalm 139 backs that up when it claims God’s knowledge of who we are even from the womb. And God even fills John the Baptist with the Holy Spirit from the womb! One of our responsibilities as “Orange Dads” is to remind our kid(s) that God in fact CREATED them. I think about the girls working in the baby ministry at our church, and I love knowing that they will be praying and singing that into Evie’s little heart from the second we have the guts to drop her off in there.

I also find comfort in knowing that all the days of Evie have been ordained beforehand. As it is unveiled to me, her mom, and even her, it will be comforting to remember that CREATOR knows what’s going on. Nothing is a surprise to Him.

If God created us, He alone gets to define us. So, to me, when Brewster writes “all your thoughts toward me are holy, full of love and grace” it reminds me that I’ve got to remind Evie of that– that she’s perfectly loved by her Father in heaven. She is loved. And she is offered grace. She is offered that relationship. Wow. That’s good for us all to remember.

I can’t even imagine what it would be like for that chorus to be the cry of my daughter’s heart. It was the cry of my heart when I was sixteen at a camp in Colorado. It has been her mom’s cry. I pray that it will be hers. In the end, that cry is the most important thing a person can do, to respond to God’s grace with a “You are the One I will worship; You are the One I will serve all my days.”

Good one, Lincoln Brewster. I worthy first song in this category of “Orange Inspiration.”

Posted by Paul Mannino in paul, songs Tags: connection, creation, expecting parent, fatherhood, fathering, god, identity, incite wonder, jesus, lincoln brewster, orange philosophy, relationship, religious education, security, sovereignty, you are the one

Daddy Daughter Date Night

September 30, 2011

Back in the day, when I was working at a church in North Carolina, I had a couple of girls in my ministry who told me about all the time that their dad put into them. Even though having kids was a far off thing on my radar, I remember thinking, “Hey, I want to be like that THAT dad.”

So earlier this week, I asked one of these young ladies (Kathryn, who is now a college student) to talk about what those times with her dad meant to her:

“Growing up, my dad would always take [my sister] and I on what we called ‘daddy daughter date night.’ It would range from dinner to ice cream to a movie to a shopping trip to a coffee date…whatever actually. The beauty of this is that [my sister] and I still crave those date nights, and my dad still willingly makes the time to take us on them. I can tell you that establishing that personal time with daddy at a young age was extremely influential in our still close relationship. For a daughter, there is no security like that of her daddy. To feel the love of daddy still means more than most any other love (minus that of our Savior, of course). I could go on and on about how great my dad is…I still think that it all comes down to love. Even as an adult, I still love for my dad to tell me stories or scratch my back… time spent is my love language.”

I love what Kathryn is sharing her about her dad. Her dad, Troy, was definitely a busy guy; and he had four kids to think about– yet he made this time with his two daughters, and it’s still paying off! It’s hard not to project myself into that role and Evie into the Kathryn side of things, but it definitely didn’t happen accidentally. And it definitely didn’t happen in isolation from Kathryn having caring adults in her life beside her dad (I was her youth pastor for a season. My wife, Mary Kate, was her small group leader)– but I don’t think there was anyone who could rival the impact of her dad.

Oh, God, please help me to make my daughter a priority. I want to her to say that I “always” took her out. I want her to “crave” that time with me. I want to “willingly make the time.” I want to have that “close” relationship. I want to provide that “security.”

Question: Please give me as many inexpensive “daddy daughter date night” ideas as possible!

Posted by Paul Mannino in paul Tags: connection, daddy daughter date night, daughters, expecting parent, fatherhood, fathering, god, identity, incite wonder, jesus, orange philosophy, relationship, religious education, security, testimony

Hey, I Want to Raise a Beautiful Girl Too

September 29, 2011

Click here to read a recent article on the Orange Leader blog by Kendra Fleming. As a guy who’s going to be raising a little girl soon. I definitely want to be thinking about how I can raise her to not be superficial and obsessed with her appearance. I’ve been a youth leader for far too long to watch this whole thing go sideways really fast. There’s some practical advice at the end for guys like me!

Question: Besides the ideas that you see on Kendra’s post, what are some other things that you’ve done to help your girl(s) realize that beauty isn’t skin deep?

Posted by Paul Mannino in orange leaders Tags: appearances, creation, expecting parent, fatherhood, fathering, god, identity, incite wonder, jesus, kendra fleming, orange leaders, orange philosophy, relationship, religious education, vanity

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The “Outsiders”

September 28, 2011

Click here for a great post from the Orange Leaders’ Blog by Tom Walker about feeling like a fish out of water when it comes to being a parent and dropping your kid off at a youth ministry. I connected with this article because a) it’s from the point of view of a dad and b) it provides a pretty frank perspective of the “red” side of the whole “orange” philosophy. For our parents, I can see where dropping their kids off in a foreign place with foreign ideals may be a tough thing.

So…

Question: What can the church do to make that transition of dropping off the kids at a youth program at church easier?

Posted by Paul Mannino in orange leaders Tags: dropping off kids, fatherhood, fathering, god, jesus, orange leaders, orange philosophy, religious education, tom walker

My Dad Loves Me

September 27, 2011

Above is a picture of the rocker that I’m imagining I will be sitting in with my daughter in the not too distant future.

I’ve been reflecting a lot about what I learned last Friday at the Orange Tour. Reggie Joiner (who I consider to be one of the wisest family ministry thinkers out there) shared with us “dials” that we really want to turn up in our kids’ lives while we’ve still got them under our roof. They come from the Greatest Commandment to love GOD and love PEOPLE, (like you) love YOURSELF. Oh man, I am praying that Evie gets this!

Turning up this dial of love for God, in Reggie’s words, is to INCITE WONDER.

I love that phrase. I mean, when it’s all said and done, isn’t that where all the love for God comes from– this sense of wonder of how He could be so amazing and love us like He does?

There are three points that we’ve got to press into the hearts of our kids as we’re going about life:

1. Design

Do our kids know that they were created? Not just by Mommy and Daddy. Not just by storks. By God. We were created by God. If our kids are lead to believe that they were an accident (and this can be communicated in a number of ways), there is no hope. Then again, if they know that they were created by an amazing God, there is hope. I think about this in my own life. I could have wasted a lot of heartache and worry if I had known this from the beginning. I want Evie to know this. I want her to know that God made her.

2. Identity

Who are our kids really? The Bible says that children are made in God’s image (that there’s something in us like Him). This makes how we see ourselves and how we see other people totally different. I don’t want Evie to miss this. I don’t want to her to miss that there are things in her that God placed in her! I don’t want to her to view people as expendable either. I want her to see others as God sees them.

3. Connection

When we think of religion or God is the first word that comes to mind “connection”? Probably not. I think a lot of us grew up thinking of God as the angry cosmic cop ready to bust anyone who broke his rules. Or maybe He’s too busy posing for paintings for us. Or maybe He’s just like a vending machine that you come to when you need some Cheetos (but that’s not a relationship). Yet this is what the Bible promises– that we are invited into a relationship with the God of the universe. This relationship doesn’t consist solely of rules either. God made us to be in a relationship with Him. Talk about valuable.

So, yeah, I want Evie to know that her Mommy and I love her. No doubt. But this is the stuff (that God made her, that her identity is in Him, and He wants a relationship with her) that I’ve got to make the heartbeat of how I talk to her.

I’m still wrestling with these ideas.

Question: How do YOU communicate these things to your kids? I’m the rookie here. I need some help!

Posted by Paul Mannino in paul Tags: connection, creation, expecting parent, fatherhood, fathering, god, identity, incite wonder, jesus, orange philosophy, reggie joiner, relationship, religious education

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Tag Archives: religious education

The Day I Became Orange

970 Weekends Until I Lose My Marbles…

“The Slow Fade”: College Ministry Redefined

Every Parent Should Buy…

Getting Ready

Orange Inspiration Song #1: “You Are the One”

Daddy Daughter Date Night

Hey, I Want to Raise a Beautiful Girl Too

The “Outsiders”

My Dad Loves Me

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