Tag Archives: orange leaders

Creating a Volunteer Culture @KFleming #OC12

April 25, 2012

Kendra Fleming has a reputation as an extremely effective leader who gets it done on numerous fronts, so I was really exciting to go to one of her breakouts at the Orange Conference. I also don’t think she’s the kind of person who would appreciate a “Hey, nice breakout! Good thing I’m already doing all those things” kind of response. I don’t. Her message was convicting, and I think it was meant to be.

I’m already thinking about how I’ve not done a great job of creating a great volunteer culture within the ministries I lead. I’m going to debrief the notes later on, but I’m giving more of a first impressions kind of response.

There’s so much I don’t do. I don’t say thank you enough. I’m not strategic enough. I am very focused in ministry, but most of the time it seems in this order: 1) myself and what I’m doing (it is “game time” after all, 2) the students , 3) parents (I’ve got to be orange, right?), and then the volunteers (ouch). I think Kendra is calling it to be volunteers first, and I really can’t argue. That’s how things are going to grow.

I’ve got to order my life, my communication, the way I act, etc. to orient it around my heart’s desire– which is to have a strong volunteer culture.

Kendra brought it. Practical. Organized. Challenging. Just like I would have expected.

This’ll make for some great conversation with my team mates as well.

How do you celebrate volunteers?

Posted by Paul Mannino in orange conference, orange leaders Tags: gratitude, honor, leadership, orange leaders, replication, small group leaders, volunteerism

“Raising Adults” Thanks @cnieuwhof.

January 21, 2012

Sorry, I couldn't resist with the NFC Championship being tomorrow!

I recently discovered another fantastic resource that my friends at Orange have provided for parents called Parent Link Live. In our pre-K ministry at New Harvest, we get a little half sheet with an inspiring message and a link to this site. I had a recent conversation with Jocelyn (our pre-K coordinator) and said, “Hey, just tell MK and me what to do and we’ll do it!” So it was cool to get this half sheet on Sunday with some next steps for MK and me to become more involved with Evie’s growth. Thanks, Jocelyn, for helping the Manninos be orange!

On Parent Link Live you can listen to some podcasts (seem to be less than ten minutes) from Carey Nieuwhof, a pastor in Toronto. To be honest, I only know Carey from his co-writing of “Parenting Beyond Your Capacity” (with Reggie Joiner); but, since it’s the one book about parenting that I’ve ever read in which I agreed with just about everything, I’m already a fan. Also, he’ll be a speaker at the Orange Conference. Have I mentioned that I’m excited about that yet? He he he…

Each month, Parent Link Live highlights some aspect of parenting and speaks into it. This month, the bottom line was that we’re not raising “kids”– we’re raising adults!

Carey forced MK and me to realize that Evie is an adult that we’re raising. As crazy as that sounds, it’s true. Right now, we are celebrating milestones left and right.

Oh, look, she’s smiling now!
Pretty soon she’ll be eating food!
She’s outgrown her 0-3 month clothes!

You get the idea. But Carey really challenged me in this thought. We’ve got to “resist our cultural tendency to keep our kids little. Cuteness is not the point of life.”

Carey suggests some things that, although further down the road for me, may not be down the road for you.

I’m not going to give it all away. You go listen to it here.

I’m just following the first suggestion: “write it down: ‘I’m raising an adult (not a child).’”

Posted by Paul Mannino in orange parents, parent link live Tags: carey nieuwhof, cuteness, fatherhood, growing up too soon, imagine the end, jocelyn rogers, keeping our kids too little, milestones, new harvest church, orange conference, orange leaders, orange parents, parent link live, parenting beyond your capacity, pre-k ministry, raising adults, raising an adult, reggie joiner, starting line

1 comment

Who Does He Think He Is?

January 10, 2012

My wife and I were talking about this blog the other day, and she helped me to realize something that I hadn’t thought about. [She's good at that. Watching my blind spots.]

Does calling my blog “Orange Dad” maybe smack of arrogance, like I think that I’ve got it all figured out and that I need to share my supreme knowledge with the world?

Good question.

I guess it’s fair to talk about what I think of myself in all of this.

1. I am completely a rookie. If there was an Orange Dads team, I would be carrying other people’s luggage and getting them donuts. I have had a child for only three months; and, even then, I’m not even sure I’m doing that great of a job.

2. I am borrowing an idea. This is an interesting thought because orange’s not something that I came up with myself. I’ve got to give Reggie Joiner the tip of the hat for his amazing book, “Think Orange” for that. On a deeper level, I know that it’s really God’s idea to utilize the family and the church for His glory.

3. I am at a church that is learning how to be orange. I’m not even at the most super-orange church in the world. I know that. I lead the middle school, high school, and college ministry at my church– and, in all of those, we’re not even close to being truly orange. Children’s ministry here is great. But they’re growing. And the macro vision of our church for being orange is in development too.

So…let’s review.

I am a rookie parent.
This isn’t even my idea.
And I’m not even that great at the church side of things.

Why should you read my blog?

Well, if you just read it, I think that’s the problem right there! I don’t want people to just read it. My original vision was to create a community where people could talk about what they’re doing, what’s working, what’s not working, etc.

I’d love for all-star dads from all walks of life share their stories of how they’re doing what they’re doing. They don’t have to be perfect or work at a church. They just have to be willing to open up the conversation.

I’d love for church workers to talk about what they’re doing to bridge the gap between the church and the family. This part of the blog is super-underdeveloped. The most read posts on here are the ones in which I tell “cute Evie stories.” That’s cool. I’m glad. But I want to examine both sides of this equation because I’m on both sides of the equation. I’m a dad, and I’m a church leader.

So…hang in there.

And know that I don’t think I know everything (or much…or even anything!). I’m just trying to honor God and start a conversation. I’m so stoked about the Orange Conference because I know that more and more conversations are going to stem from that!

If you’ve heard amazing stories of orange dads and orange churches, I would love for a light to go off in your head where you think, “Ooh, I bet Paul would love to share that story.” Because you’d be right. I would.

Posted by Paul Mannino in paul Tags: all-star dads, blogging, bridging the gap, church, community, conversation, dialogue, family ministry, fatherhood, orange leaders, orange parents, orange philosophy, parenting, reggie joiner, rookie parent, stories, think orange, vanity

Orange Moments

January 2, 2012

I smell orange moments. I see them. Something jerks at my heartstrings during those times, and I usually weep because it’s beautiful. Yesterday there were a bunch of those moments on a Sunday morning in church.

It was baptism Sunday, and some special things happened. First, we got to hear the story of a young man who gave his life to Christ after being a meth addict. The part that was highlighted, italicized, and bolded in his testimony (for me), though, was that he ended up sharing his faith with his boy. Orange Dad.

After the “scheduled” baptisms, Pastor Mitch invited those up who felt like it was the time for them to be baptized too. Many came forward, but there were two situations that stuck out to me.

One, the mother of a small, small child came up. Now, of course, I’m nervously thinking, “Uh oh, this kid is a little too young to even comprehend baptism,” but it turned into a beautiful moment. In a “let the children come” mindset, Mitch instead took the opportunity to have a spontaneous child dedication in which the church body raised their hands as a sign of blessing towards this young boy and the young mom who had brought him up there. All I could see in this moment was a mom wanting what’s best for her son and a church wanting what’s best for a family. Orange Mom. Orange Pastor.

Finally, and this is the one where the tears started to flow out of my eyes. Keep in mind that I was already a little misty because I had been holding Evie in the back and whispering to her about Jesus throughout the baptisms and worship. Anyway, I see a younger (but not too young) boy pop up; and head towards the stage with his mom and dad. I love this family. As the parents of a tweenager, I have seen them work alongside the middle school ministry in helping their daughter grow in the areas of wonder, discovery, and passion. Implanted in my mind is when we played a modification of “The Newlywed Game” on a Sunday night in which a parent was matched up with their teenager to answer questions about how well they knew one another. Anyway, this dad won with his daughter; and it was hilarious. So…this was fun to watch.

To see my friend fight through tears as he stood in the baptismal (ok…fine, we use a horse trough) and affirmed his son’s faith in Jesus, well, it was awesome. The church created the moment, but my friend has walked with his son through his faith journey enough to know that his son was ready to go. Orange Church. Orange Dad.

After they dried off, they passed me in the back of the sanctuary. First, I gave the little guy manly “knucks” to tell him that he was a wise young guy. Then my friend whispered to me, “Yeah, the last time we had spontaneous baptisms [his daughter and older son] wanted to go forward; but we didn’t know if they were ready. Two months later they were baptized. [My wife] and I wondered why we waited. So, this time around, when [our youngest] said ‘I want to go up,’ we knew it was time.”

I love the way that we do baptism at New Harvest. We do it all kinds of ways. Sometimes it’s planned. We get to hear stories of life-change. I love it. Sometimes it’s spontaneous, and you get to see amazing things that you weren’t expecting. I love that not just the pastor can baptize in our church. Any dad (or mom, for that matter), as long as they are a believer in Jesus, can dunk their child.

I love baptizing teenagers; but, you know, I was thinking about an orange resolution for 2012. As much as I like to wear a Jedi robe and dunk a kid, I think I’m going to ask my teenage “candidates” this year if they would want to share this moment with their mom or dad. Some may say no, but some may have not even thought about the role that their parents have played in their coming to faith in Jesus. I say let’s do more Orange Baptisms.

Posted by Paul Mannino in paul Tags: orange philosophy, fatherhood, incite wonder, orange leaders, testimony, orange dad, imagine the end, provoke discovery, fuel passion, motherhood, baptism, orange church, orange mom, orange pastor, child dedication, marked moments, leading your kid to christ, waiting, overcoming meth addiction, new harvest church, pastor mitch, orange baptisms, spontaneous baptism, planned baptism, awkward moments in church, age of accountability, stepping out of the spotlight

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Meet Me at Chick-Fil-A

December 29, 2011

Here in the lovely Central Valley of California, we are going to be having an event called: Meet Me at Chick-Fil-A. Members of the family ministry team and I were able to attend the Meet Me at Chick-Fil-A when we went to the Orange Tour down in So-Cal this fall, and it was an awesome experience. Why is it cool? Here’s my top ten reasons:

1. The people who work there have to say, “My Pleasure” when you say, “Thank you.” C’mon. That’s fun to experiment with.

2. You get to meet with other Orange thinkers from your area and bounce ideas about the application of the Orange strategy in the local church. This is what it’s all about.

3. The Original Chicken Sandwich. Seriously, there isn’t a fast food place that I get excited to be at more than Chick-Fil-A.

4. When I went, I was convicted by the questions of other people; and I had the encouragement to do something!

5. You get to wear orange (which just so happened to be my favorite color before the philosophy was even invented).

6. You get to see how other people can take the same curriculum, books, and ideas and put them into practice in totally different, creative ways.

7. Texas Pete hot sauce packets. They’re made in the town I grew up in (Winston-Salem, NC), and they’re vinegary bombness.

8. You can talk to an Orange Specialist. We’ve got one with us in Fresno (Stephanie Porter), and she’s a great resource for when you’ve got questions or are wondering if something has ever been done before.

9. Sweet tea. Cravin’ Mellon (a South Carolina band) wrote a song about the merits of sweet tea. “On the eighth day, God made sweet tea.” It stimulates the mind.

10. Networking. The conversation doesn’t end at Chick-Fil-A. Through Facebook, Twitter, and all that other dinosaur stuff, you can stay in touch with other people who are trying their best to partner with families to incite wonder, provoke discovery, and fuel passion in the next generation.

Find out where there’s a “Meet Me at Chick-Fil-A” Event close to you. As for you Central Valley people, it’s going to be at Chick-Fil-A on Blackstone (near River Park and right off of 41) on Thursday, February 9th at 2 PM.

I’ll be wearing orange.

Posted by Paul Mannino in orange leaders, paul Tags: chicken sandwich, connection, cravin mellon, fuel passion, god, incite wonder, jesus, meet me at chick-fil-a, my pleasure, orange leaders, orange philosophy, provoke discovery, stephanie porter, sweet tea, testimony, texas pete

How Can I Help You?

December 28, 2011

When I was in high school, I worked the triple crown of fast food restaurants. I worked at McDonald’s, Taco Bell, and Subway. So I am going to say what I’m about to say with a little bit of fast food credibility. Very few (except for Chick-Fil-A) workers at fast food restaurants actually greet anymore. I used to do this as a social experiment (and don’t recommend it for mature Christians). I would walk into a fast food restaurant and stare at the person working there until they greeted me. Sometimes it would be an awkward few seconds, and they would impatiently look at me as if I was doing something wrong. I just remember in all the training videos that they used to tell you that you were supposed to welcome someone to the restaurant and ask, “How can I help you?”

This might not be a dad issue, per se; but I think one of the greatest things a dad can do is love his wife. And, in that vein, I have to wonder, “Do we really ask our wives ‘how can I help you’ enough?”

I had one of these tough conversations recently. This may be a semi-universal issue in that we all want people to know what we want without having to say it, but we also wish that people would tip us off on what they want. And this isn’t a selfish thing– it’s just literally that I think we sometimes forget how limited our point-of-view really is.

So…when was the last time you, husband dad-type, have asked how you can help your wife? I’m not talking about the “ok-do-I-have-all-my-bases-covered-so-I-can-watch-the-game-in-peace” kind of asking, but the “I-value-you-so-much-that-I-want-to-make-sure-that-you’re-doing-ok” kind. The second kind is a lot more difficult, but it goes a long way. This may affect things that you enjoy. This may affect how you go about doing something. You might not “like” the answer. Chances are, since you defaulted to doing something else in the first place, your wife’s answer might not even seem natural for you to do or against your nature. But here’s what the Apostle Paul says in Philippians 2:3-5 (in the Bible):

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus…”

Paul goes on to explain that Jesus was able to take on the nature of a servant when He deserved so much more. Maybe we feel like we “deserve” our me-time around the house when we’ve had a hard day of solving the world’s problems, but our “deserving” doesn’t even compare to Jesus’ deserving. He served. We should too. The wife. The kids. Others. Orange Dad’s serve. We are called to be servant-leaders.

Back to the main point– I’ve also found that the more “how-can-I-help-you” conversations that I have with Mary Kate, the more I can sense what she wants without even asking. When you’re not asking those questions regularly, that may sound like an impossible mind-game. When you are, though, I think you become in step with her heart. There’s honor in that.

You’ve heard it said a million times: “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” So be like a Chick-Fil-A employee and ask, “How can I help you?” And when she thanks you, say, “My pleasure.”

Posted by Paul Mannino in paul Tags: attitude, chick-fil-a, communication, connection, god, honor, how can I help you, jesus, my pleasure, orange dad, orange leaders, parenting beyond your capacity, philippians 2:3-5, relationship, right relationships, servant, servant-leader, service, testimony

1 comment

Meeting Dads in the Middle

December 6, 2011

I’ve been wrestling with the idea of what is REALLY looks like for the church to partner with the family, and a wise man gave me a great idea. I asked this guy, who is a ministry vet and a guy who really “gets” the orange philosophy what was the best thing he did to grow in his relationships with entire families in his ministry– and I’m not sure what I expected to be his response– but sometimes the simplest answers are the ones that make the most sense.

“Have a Bible study for dads of teenagers.”

I remember already having pushback in my mind, “Wait, no, I’m the ‘student’ ministries director. Could or should I be spending that much time with grown men?” Yes, I know, I laugh at myself sometimes too. But, hey, I’m being honest.

I want to grow alongside other dads. I think that’s the stance that I want to take. I know that I am way, way behind them as far as being a dad goes. I have a six-WEEK-old. They would at least have a twelve-YEAR-old. But experience or even having something to bring to the table isn’t really the issue.

Then my friend when totally counter-intuitive on me and told me to resist the temptation to make the Bible study a topical one about parenting. Instead, he said to just go through a book of the Bible. Again, my mind is thinking, “What, no, I need to be a better ‘steward’ of the time that we would have together.” Actually, what would be better than to go through the Gospel of John, grow in WONDER at who God is, DISCOVER who we are in Christ (and as dads, husbands, etc.), and develop PASSION for others (the world, our family, our co-workers). I think the Bible can do that on its own. So I am going to trust God in this one.

It’s going to be an interesting journey. Something I’ve never really tried before. I’m just the assembler, not the teacher. Something tells me that I am going to learn so much and be blessed on Wednesday mornings at Denny’s.

The joke around New Harvest is that my nickname “PM” is an indication of when I do all my ministry. Some weeks, that’s the way it feels (with an event or meeting nearly every night). Rarely, do I use the AM as a time to do anything productive (I’m recovering). But this is a priority to me, so I am getting up early enough so that almost no one would have an excuse for why they’d miss: 6 AM – 8 AM. I hope that, by creating a middle, dads will meet me there.

Posted by Paul Mannino in orange leaders, orange parents, paul Tags: bible study, communication, connection, fatherhood, fathering, fuel passion, god, incite wonder, orange dad, orange leaders, orange philosophy, parenting beyond your capacity, provoke discovery, relationship

4 comments

Carlos Is Orange

November 16, 2011

When you google, “orange dad,” this post comes up on Carlos Whittaker’s blog. What I like is that he means what I mean by it. Here’s what he says:

“Here’s the deal.
I have 3 kids.
Sohaila.
Seanna.
Losiah.

All three of them are unique in the way that God has crafted them.
All three of them take a unique style of parenting.
All three of them can be set loose to follow God with the curriculum and ideals behind Orange.
These kids are the world to me.
I want to see them spring to Jesus however that looks.
Falling, stumbling, jumping, laughing, crying, puking, singing, screaming.
However they get there.
I want to help them.
And Reggie Joyner and his team have what I believe is the best way to do that.
They study the child.
They study wonder and put it in a way that I could never.

If parents would only realize how they bore their children. -George Bernard Shaw

I need all the help I can get, and I choose to follow the Orange model to pull that off.”

Cool beans. Any other orange dads out there?

Posted by Paul Mannino in orange parents Tags: carlos whittaker, daughters, fatherhood, fathering, fight for the heart, god, identity, imagine the end, incite wonder, jesus, orange dad, orange leaders, orange philosophy, parenting beyond your capacity, reggie joiner, sons

970 Weekends Until I Lose My Marbles…

November 15, 2011

Wow…what an amazing, though-provoking post by Reggie Joiner that came up today. In it he says:

“We handed out jars of marbles to every family. There was one for each child in the home. There were enough marbles in each jar to represent the number of weekends children had left at home before they headed to college. For example there were jars with approximately–

468 marbles for 4th graders
364 marbles for 6th graders
208 marbles for 9th graders
104 marbles for 11th graders

Some parents used calendars to calculate the exact number of weekends for each individual child. They kept the jar in a visible place in their home and removed a marble each passing week to illustrate how much time they had left with their kids. It was a sobering visual reminder of how fast time goes.”

Sobering indeed. So I had to calculate. I will be dropping Evie (maybe “Evelyn” by then) to college sometime in August of 2030. That means I’ve got approximately 970 more weekends with her. Wow. I’ve already enjoyed the three that we’ve had. I can’t imagine what I’m going to do with the 970. I know that I want to turn up the dials in her life to show her that God is amazing, she is an amazing creation, and she can love and add value to others.

So…what’s your number for all your kids? I encourage you to read Reggie’s post.

What’s your number, and what are you going to do with the time that you have?

Posted by Paul Mannino in orange parents, paul Tags: baby, connection, creation, daddy daughter date night, daughters, dropping kids off for college, dropping off kids, fatherhood, fathering, fight for the heart, god, honor, identity, imagine the end, incite wonder, jesus, losing your marbles, opportunities, orange leaders, orange philosophy, parenting beyond your capacity, reggie joiner, relationship, religious education, security, sons, weekends with kids

1 comment

“The Slow Fade”: College Ministry Redefined

November 10, 2011

My friends from Orange sent me a book that I’ve been wanting to grab ever since it came out: “The Slow Fade” by Reggie Joiner, Chuck Bomar, and Abbie Smith. I was thumbing through it in the resource area at the Orange Tour but just didn’t buy it.

And then they sent it to me. I’m glad I waited, but I don’t think having two copies would be a bad thing (one to keep, one to share).

I was fascinated by how the Orange Philosophy fits into college/young-adult ministry. I mean, isn’t the whole idea of the Orange Philosophy for parents and the church to unite to raise up the next generation? College ministry has constraints. Sure, some of their parents are around their parents still or even still living at home; but, for the most part, college/young-adult ministry is about kids transitioning to adulthood (sans parents). So how does the Orange crew address it?

In two words: SIMPLY yet PROFOUNDLY.

In this quick read (I read it in two sittings), the three authors combine their voices to present a case of a relationship-driven (not program-driven college/young-adult ministry experience). The book progresses through the notion that, in most churches, this age group is pretty ghostly (almost invisible); but it’s not that hard to connect them to older people in the local church and help them “rematerialize” before the church’s very eyes.

I’ve got a bunch of ideas that I want to explore from this book (in no particular order):

* Abbie talks about the “mentors” she had when she was in college. Who were mine? Who were yours?

* Is it really that hard to find common ground with this age group? Here’s a hint: NO!

* An adult mentor can subtly turn the dials of WONDER at who God is, DISCOVERY of who they are in Christ, and PASSION for the world through a “mentor”-like relationship. And it’s not as hard as it sounds.

* There is a great template for how to connect adults in the church at large to people in this critical age group. I personally became convicted that, in order for the college/young-adult ministry at New Harvest (Reaction), to thrive and be sustainable, I’ve got to widen the circle of influence beyond me and Mary Kate.

* Once an older adult makes a connection with a person in this age group, it makes it that much easier to connect them to other people in the church who they glean maturity from.

* People in this age group want to not only be involved– they want to serve in a meaningful way. (Phew…at least I already knew one thing in this book. )

* The thing that works best in these mentor/mentee relationships is that there has to be humility on the part of the mentor to realize that both sides of the relationship are in a process of maturation– and they can grow and learn together.

* Chuck Bomar’s charge to ministry leaders should be a post in and of itself because of the richness of the challenges.

* “Old people” can say a lot of things that are unintentionally (but still have the effect of being) discouraging to college students and young adults. I love that the book provides some basic perspective shifts on some typical conversation points with this age group. Again, another post for another day. Rich (and kind of funny).

All in all, I think I have my marching orders. I’ve got to widen this net. There have to be more people involved in the lives of this “invisible” age group, otherwise we should not be surprised that our churches are aging out. We make a false assumption when we think that “Oh, this is just a phase. They’ll come back when they have kids.” Will they?

I’d rather keep them connected if it’s all the same and not throw up a white flag at the slow fade.

Posted by Paul Mannino in books Tags: abbie smith, chuck bomar, college ministry, connection, fatherhood, fathering, fuel passion, god, identity, imagine the end, incite wonder, jesus, leadership, mentors, orange leaders, orange philosophy, parenting beyond your capacity, perspectives, program-driven ministry, provoke discovery, reggie joiner, relationship, religious education, role models, struggles, testimony, the slow fade, young adult ministry

Tag Archives: orange leaders

Creating a Volunteer Culture @KFleming #OC12

“Raising Adults” Thanks @cnieuwhof.

Who Does He Think He Is?

Orange Moments

Meet Me at Chick-Fil-A

How Can I Help You?

Meeting Dads in the Middle

Carlos Is Orange

970 Weekends Until I Lose My Marbles…

“The Slow Fade”: College Ministry Redefined

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