Orange Dad
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Tag Archives: make it personal

The Most Un-”Orange-Dad” Verse in the Bible?!? #thinkorange

September 22, 2012

I love verses about loving your kids and investing in them.  You could probably rattle off a couple right off the top of your head (or make something up…or sprinkle in some Oprah quotes or something you read on a fortune cookie one time).

The bottom line is (and maybe this is one of the reasons that it’s easy to get an audience about parenting) that it’s easy to get people in our culture to talk about loving their kids.  This is something that is both Obama and Romney approved.  Love your kids.  Yay.

That’s why this verse with Jesus “messes with” me a little bit in Luke 14:25-27:

25 Now great crowds accompanied [Jesus], and He turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. 27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.”

This sounds so radical to me.  In a culture that does everything it can to promote child safety, focus “on” the family, and universally love family (whether it’s traditional or “modern”), this is like fingernails scratching a blackboard or a record skipping during the middle of a dance party.  It’s abrupt.  It definitely gets your attention.  But what does Jesus mean?

Does Jesus mean that we’re supposed to forego our familial commitments in order to “prove” how much we love Jesus?  Does Jesus mean that we’re supposed to give our kids a snake when they ask for a loaf of bread? Does this mean that we should just insult our spouses every chance we get?

No, no, and no.

This is a hyperbolic statement.  That’s a literary device.  It’s meant to not be taken literally and is used for emphasis or effect.  So…what’s the emphasis?  Well, the conclusion is about following Jesus with your life.  So, Jesus is emphatically saying that Jesus must be primary.  Our pastor said last week that this is a DTR with Jesus in which He is seeking to “define the relationship.”  I remember those from my younger days.  A girl corners you and asks something to the effect of, “What are we doing here?” or “Where do you see this going?”  As a guy, we try to stiff-arm that conversation and get onto where we’re going to eat.

Jesus is asking us, “What are we doing here” or “Where do you see this relationship going?”  We can put off that question; but, more than anything, it’s the most important question you can answer about your own life.  Being a great husband or wife can’t save you.  Giving your children everything you didn’t have can’t save you.  Only Jesus can save you.

So…yes, compared to my relationship with Jesus, I guess I ought to hate my beautiful wife.

And, yes, compared to my relationship with Jesus, I guess I ought to hate my bubbly little baby.

And as weird as that sounds (I almost didn’t write it for fear of being misunderstood), I know that it needs to be true.  I can’t put anything ahead of my relationship with my Savior.  He brings me life.  He brings me joy.  He enables me (through the regeneration of my heart by the Holy Spirit) to really love my wife and my daughter.

First things first.  Make it personal.

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Heartfelt Father’s Day Experience

September 6, 2012

First off, I am completely aware that I am posting something about Father’s day September.  That may be an indication of how crazy my summer has been…

This past Father’s Day, my church had father’s come up on stage with one of their kids and a little cardboard sign.  On the cardboard sign was a number– a number signifying how many more weekends that dad had left to be the primary influence in his kid’s life (before they went off to college).  It was a powerful moment.  I’ve written about the concept before here.  Also, my header (for now) on my FB fan page is a picture of all the dads.

This video followed.  These are the dads who were “at zero.”  In other words, these were the dads whose sons and daughters were graduating and heading off to community college or college.  Just being a part of the filming process with these men was humbling, and it really made me think about the time that I have with Evie.  Thank you Jon, Mark, Paul, and Brian for sharing you heart in this:

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What IS Family Ministry?

July 19, 2012

[This post is a contribution to a "Blog Tour," consisting of a gazillion bloggers who are one-per-day answering the question: "What is family ministry?"  You can get a link to all the other posts here.  I think I'm blogger #18, and there have been some tremendous posts put out there in the blogosphere already.]

What is family ministry?

“Late to the party.”

Yup.  That would be my initial response.

Let me explain.  I am doing premarital counseling for the first time this month.  I’m really excited about it.  My heart is really in this one because I care deeply about this young man and this young woman’s success.  So, yeah, I’m going to talk about the typical things that premarital counselors would talk about (I think…I’m new to this): family history, money, conflict, “love languages,” expectations, etc.  But…then I realized that I was leaving a gaping hole in my plan of action.  What about the charge in Deuteronomy 6 to families?  Are we even going to talk about the importance of being Orange as a family?  Much to the chagrin of my hypocrisy-o-meter, I wasn’t planning on it.  Woops.

And I wonder, is family ministry often late to the party in our churches?  What can we do to ensure that couples, when they are getting married, KNOW what is expected of them as far as being the primary spiritual influences in the lives of their kids?  We talk about all the good stuff that Reggie Joiner and the Orange Crew talk about by the time they hit our ministries, but wouldn’t it be cool for our young couples to pray for their future families in a Psalm-139-I-prayed-for-you-before-you-were-even-in-your-mama’s-womb kind of way?

The stakes of “making it personal,” “imagining the end,” “creating a rhythm,” “widening the circle,” and “fighting for the heart” are high.  Wouldn’t it be cool to speak a vision into our not-yet-marrieds of how important it is to have a vital relationship with Jesus, to talk about what you want your family to be about, how that’s going to look day-in-day-out, how others can help, and how we never quit on one another?

And, why stop there?  Family ministry may actually start in ministering to college/young adults.  They need to be thinking about these things before they get down on one knee or say, “Yes.”  It was awesome to talk about the Orange family values recently in our college/young adult ministry.  Believe me, they want to figure out how to be healthy husbands, fathers, moms, and dads.

We know that the seeds are planted in our young people when they  have been a part of healthy ministry themselves from pre-K to high school; but I’m thinking that this partnership shouldn’t be neglected in the young-adult, yet-to-have-a-family-of-my-own-years.

I was kicking this idea for this post around with my church’s Family Ministries Director.  She looked at me all weird and told me that she had a dream about the wedding I mentioned earlier.  In the dream, I looked up at everyone during the ceremony and said something like, “You are all witnesses to an amazing thing.  A family is being born today.”  I got goosebumps when I heard about that because it’s a freaky coincidence, and I was (and still am) staggered by the truth of how God does that.  He makes families.  He is the Family Maker.

I know this is a different take on it all (and, honestly, some of the other posts have already covered some of the things that I would have said in my “standard” answer); let’s figure out how we can partner better and better and better– and as early as possible.  It may start earlier than you think.  We don’t want to be late to the party.

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Orange Family Values

June 20, 2012

Today I want to take some time to check out a passage of the Bible that has been the foundation of a series that we just finished at New Harvest this past Sunday: Orange.  Actually, if you want to listen to the sermons from the series, you can listen here.  [These values come from a book, "Think Orange" by Reggie Joiner, which I highly recommend.]

We’re going to take it back to the old school and check out Moses’ charge to the nation of Israel not too long before his death.  It’s in the fourth book of the Bible: Deuteronomy.  What I’d like to do is take the passage bit by bit and provide a little reminder of what this verse means for us today:

Deuteronomy 6:4-12

“Hear O Israel…”

The first family value comes out of the first three words!  See, when Moses was speaking (and you’ll see it’s all about raising up the next generation to have authentic faith), he wasn’t just talking to parents.  He wasn’t just talking to “religious leaders.”  He was talking to the ENTIRE NATION.  That leads us to value #1…

#1 WIDEN THE CIRCLE

Widening the circle means allowing as many people as you can to invest in the spiritual growth of your kids.  Parents, that means that you can’t be the only spiritual voice in the lives of your kids.  Church people, it means that you’ve got to make sure that you partner WITH parents.  When it comes to imparting an authentic faith on the next generation, the more the merrier!

“…the LORD our God, the LORD is one.”

The second family value flows out of this.  Basically, Moses is saying that all of life boils down to this.  This is the framework for your life.  ”God is our God.  God is the only God.”  This may not seem significant on a surface level, but if life is all about God, how we raise our kids is going to be different than if we think that life is all about something else.  Life is not about being “well-adjusted” or “well-rounded” or “happy” or “having all the things we couldn’t have when we were kids.”  Life is about knowing Jesus and making Him known.  That’s why value #2 is…

#2 IMAGINE THE END

Instead of obsessing about WHAT we want our kids to be (ie, the next Peyton Manning, the next great ballerina, the next Bill Gates)– we should be focusing on who they are.  Do they understand that they are a child of God?  Does that captivate their hearts?  Is it the framework of every decision they make?  If that’s the goal, how do we get there?

“…you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.”

God uses heart language to describe the relationship that He wants for His followers.  Yeah, parents would probably love to have an obedient kid; but, even beyond the rules, we should care about what’s going on in the heart.  Why do I say that?  It’s clear that God is most concerned with the heart condition of His followers throughout the Bible. That leads us to value #3…

#3 FIGHT FOR THE HEART

If God fights for our hearts by constantly reminding us of how much He loves us and all He’s done for us, shouldn’t we do the same for our kids?  We should fight for their hearts!  We shouldn’t give up on them (even when they break the rules).  We should demonstrate sacrificial, heart communication to our kids (even when they frustrate us to no end).  Why?  Because that’s how God loves us.

“And these words that I command you today shall be upon your heart.”

It’s easy to teach stuff that you don’t practice yourself.  But, when you see that your leader is not the real thing, it can really poke a hole in everything that person ever said.  That’s why we can’t teach our kids what we don’t own ourselves.  And that’s our #4 value…

#4 MAKE IT PERSONAL

You’ve got to own your relationship with God.  Most Christian parents want their kids to be “prayer warriors,” but rare is the family that actually takes the time to pray with their families (besides Thanksgiving or “grace”).  We don’t want our kids to form their viewpoints of the world based on media or their friends (or their schools), but we don’t expose them to the counter-message that’s in Scripture.  Oh, man, we’ve got to get this one right.

“…you shall teach [these words that I command you today] diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

Moses talks about universal stuff that everyone in every time and every culture can do.  We all wake up, go to bed, talk at home, and travel.  In these natural rhythms of life, we’re supposed to talk about who God is and what difference He makes.  If life is all about Him, life’s rhythms should reflect Him throughout.  Which brings us to value #5…

#5 CREATE A RHYTHM

We can’t pretend that this kind of stuff (Bible study, discussions about God, what they’re learning in church, prayer, etc.) is just going to happen “organically.”  It won’t.  Our culture isn’t going to just remind us to do this.  We have to be intentional!  I love the Parent Cue app that Orange puts out because it at least gives us pointers in the right direction if we’re totally clueless!  But, whatever you do, you’ve got to wrestle with the rhythms of your family’s life and where God fits into all of it.

Moses ends by telling us why this is so important in verses 10-12.  To paraphrase: “One of these days.  Life is going to be a whole lot easier because God’s going to make good on His promise to give you an awesome land and an awesome life.  When you’ve got all that great stuff around you (distractions and blessings), make sure you don’t forget about God!”

Ultimately, that’s the thing: our kids can grow up to be “well-adjusted,” but how well adjusted can someone be when they’ve still got a HUGE sin problem?  And is it really great to be “well-rounded” at things that don’t matter?  What about being “happy” and ignorant?  No thanks.  Oh, and what about if they did have everything we c0uldn’t have growing up but totally MISSED the most important thing (a relationship with God).

These family values matter.

Let’s focus on the right stuff.

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Capturing the Heart of Preschoolers: @cassbrannan #oc12

May 24, 2012

I was really excited to go to this breakout at the Orange Conference for three main reasons:

1. I have a preschooler.

It’s a fact.  Evie’s not in school, so that makes her pre-school.

2. I want her heart to be captured by Jesus.

As Cass said, “If we don’t, the world will.”

3. A guy was leading this breakout.

Maybe I’m weird to think it’s unique that a guy is a preschool guru, but I want to join the ranks of guys who are passionate about pre-school ministry.

First off, I’m thankful that Cass shared his notes from his breakout on his blog here.  That saves me a lot of work!

I was most touched by how accessible parents can really make the Bible for our kids.  We can break the Bible down to essential truths and weave those into everyday conversation.  I’m going with the big three: “God made me,” “God loves me,” and “Jesus wants to be my friend forever.”  The main thing is that our kids realize that the Bible is the place to go to find out all we need to know.

I was touched by a couple of examples of the difference between getting a preschooler to memorize a verse to get free stickers and how to write God’s truth on their hearts.  In one example, Cass talked about a kid who had actually comforted his family in the midst of a tornado because he remembered “be strong and courageous…don’t be afraid.”  I’d love for Evie to know those kinds of things during the “tornados” of life.  Also, Cass illustrated how to extend a Bible story from Sunday morning throughout the week.  He talked about how his kids had learned about the miraculous catch of fish in church.  While the boys where in the tub, Cass dumped all of their tub toys (so at least 3,000 items) into the tub to demonstrate how much God had provided.  This giggly moment probably hammered home to those boys this story.

The pressure’s on (in a good way) because I was reminded that kids can smell fake– we’ve got to teach, model, and live what we’re telling our kids.

I think I was most touched by the idea that we really have to make the most of the time that we have; and the way that we can do that is by creating a rhythm.  We can take advantage of the little moments in a preschooler’s life: play time, car time, bath time, and cuddle time.  We can pray, talk, ask our kids what was their favorite thing of the day and what was their least favorite.  The bottom line is that we have to capture our kids’ hearts (and no…not in some weird Indiana Jones “GOLIMAR” kind of way).

This had me thinking about the music that I listen to while I’m hanging out with Evie.  And, although I’m not listening to gangsta rap with her around, I am kind of in neutral with what I was listening to: Raffi, Yo Gabba Gabba, or Disney stuff.  I realized I can do better.  I bought three CD’s that I’m going to review on here soon: Yancy Not Nancy’s “Little Praise Party: Happy EveryDay” [listen online] and the Orange peeps’ “Zapped” [listen online] and (my favorite) “Whoooo Loves You?” [listen online].  Evie loves these songs, and I love them too because she’s learning “God made it all,” that Jesus is a “present from heaven,” and that God is with her.

Bottom line from all of this is that I know it’s going to take work.  Cass said it’s going to take work.  But, at the end of the day, we want our kids to be oozing with a Biblical worldview.  It was convicting and informative.  I began to realize that being creative about how to reach our little ones is definitely a worthwhile investment of energy.  Cass has great ideas on his blog.  Also, I want to send a shout out to Amanda White’s blog for this because she’s really creative too (so you don’t have to be).

What sorts of things do you do (or have done) with your preschoolers to write God’s Word on their hearts?

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The Voice

April 11, 2012

I called my dad this morning. This is an amazing thing, in and of itself. It’s a long story that you can read about here: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.

I was joking around about how I’m kind of afraid to shave my beard because Evie likes to pull on it so much. Also, what if she didn’t recognize me! My dad reminded me that, even in the womb, a baby starts to recognize her mother’s and her father’s voice. I was even thinking about how, in a church full of people and babies, I can hear a cry and know instantly whether it is Evie’s or if it’s another baby’s.

I’ve had a hard few weeks. I’ve been kicked in the gut a few times and have been wearing it on my sleeve. So…like I mentioned before, there was some sort of weird awesomeness that came out of my dad telling me that he would be praying for me– blessing me.

All of this made me think of John 10:3-5…

“…the sheep listen to [the Shepherd's] voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When He has brought out all His own, He goes on ahead of them, and His sheep follow Him because they know His voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.”

Babies recognize their parents’ voices.
Parents recognize their babies’ cries.
There’s something special about hearing a blessing from the voice of a parent.

But, more than that…

Those who know God can recognize God’s voice.
Those who know God trust God.
Those who know God can disregard fake voices.

What am I seeing for us, as orange parents, followers of Jesus…

* Parents, what we do with our voices in our kids’ lives matter. How are you using your words?

* Children of God, which voice are you listening for?

* The two prior points are interrelated. I just don’t think we’re going to have much to offer our kids if we’re not connecting to the Shepherd’s voice in our own lives. You can give what you don’t got!

One of the coolest things is to come home after the day and walk in the door. MK’s usually holding Evie on the couch. The second I open my mouth, Evie turns her head towards me with expectation. She hears her father’s voice.

I should follow her example and earnestly seek the voice of my Father.

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I Don’t Get It

March 28, 2012

Confession time. Recently, I was sitting on the couch, watching TV, and this ad came on:

I looked over at Mary Kate (my wife); and said, “OK, this commercial makes no sense to me. I don’t get it.”

Then she explained that it was all about the movie “The Black Swan.” I didn’t even realize the girl was wearing a ballerina outfit. The commercial went from being kind of lame to pretty genius. I just didn’t get it in the first place.

I was thinking about that experience, about finally admitting that I might not know everything and chancing that my wife might know what was going on; and I realized that this is not normal for me.

If I don’t know something, I don’t like asking people. I don’t want to ask for help. I’ll keep quiet and Google it later. I’ll pretend like I know what people are talking about.

For some reason, I equate my coolness with being able to know everything about everything.

Here’s the problem with that: I can’t be an expert on everything.

I’m not an expert on parenting. That’s for sure. When Evie came into this world about five months ago, it was less of a “OK, you’ve crammed and know everything, right?” than a “Ready or not, here I come!”

I feel more “not” than “ready.”

Ready or not, this is what God calls His people to do when it comes to being a parent (extracted from Deuteronomy 6:5-7):

- Love God with all your intentions
- Love God with your deepest passions
- Love God with the most commitment you can possibly muster
- Internalize God’s Word
- Impress God’s Word on the hearts of your kids
- Talk about His Word all the time

Pretty intimidating, huh? But the stakes of not admitting that we need help are so much greater than if we fail to mention that we don’t understand a Mustang commercial. For one, this is a command from God. It’s the way things are supposed to be. Also, we’re talking about something so precious– our kids.

Which is more important to you, though, preserving your pride or taking help?

This is why I love Orange. At New Harvest, we’re walking with you, offering up ways to do what God is commanding us to do.

If you’ve got a baby, listen to Parent Link Live.

If you’ve got a toddler, those monthly Parent Cues that you can pick up at registration are vital (also…stay tuned for a pre-school parent blog!).

If you’ve got elementary kids, there are myriad ways, between the Parent Cues, Family Life Live, and (my favorite) the Parent Cue App.

If you’ve got middle school or high school kids, our parent cues are now taking video form and are available on our blog and our Facebook fan page.

Look, I had to ask what was going on with that commercial. Maybe we need to take the small steps to get us to start realizing the potential that we have as parents to impress God’s Word on our kids’ hearts.

It all starts with a question, “Hey, um, I’ve got a kid whose _______. What can I be doing to help her grow in her faith?”

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“You’re Not Alone. God Is With You.” #fpuforum

February 21, 2012

Last Thursday, I was able to go with my team mates to Fresno Pacific to their Ministry Forum to hear Francis Chan give a series of messages and answer questions about following God.

My orange ears were on the whole time; and I kept hearing references to how Chan raises his family. Here are some things that stuck out to me:

* We shouldn’t focus on the family; we should focus the family on God’s mission. He means this. He’s doing this. His daughters are growing up knowing that the Chans follow Jesus’ call to serve others. More on that later.

* It’s OUR responsibility as parents to make faith personal in our own homes– that way our kids don’t have a stagnant, boring (easily reject-able) faith modeled to them. Rather, they are blown away at the excitement of following God.

There are a few stories that follow those two points that caught my attention.

Chan had been a super-successful pastor/writer in Simi Valley (which I think it pretty affluent). He had it all (or at least my definition of “it all”): a loving wife, healthy daughters, a nice home, books, respect, a huge congregation, etc. About two years ago, he decided to leave his church to go wherever God wanted him to go. It was his wife’s idea to sell the house. She figured, “Hey, if we’re going to do this. We might as well leave no option to chicken out.” Burn the ships! What I love here is that, pregnant with their fifth child, the Chans decided that it was more worth it to follow Jesus than to pursue their own view of success.

Then after a year or so of touring Asia and seeing the church there, Chan realized that his time in the United States was not done. He wanted to reach the poor and voiceless in San Francisco (the “Tenderloin” area). Crazy idea for an amazing suburban “rock-star” pastor/writer to go reach poor people. But he knew that’s what God had called him (and his family) to do.

Also, he told us about being at the airport in Asia, preparing to come home. In Asian Christianity, he observed that there is no such thing as a lukewarm Christian. With so much to lose, why would you not, once you had crossed the line into faith, center your life around the Gospel? He told his family that he was worried about slipping back into the American cultural comfort-mindset. They had a real time of prayer as a family together.

Finally, he told us about his teenage daughter. Daughter stories get me these days no matter what. I can’t help but see Evie in them. [As I write this, she's rocking back and forth in her little swing, chewing on her hand, and wiggling her feet. She's silly, and she's beautiful. But I want more than that. I imagine an end for her. I want her to be a strong woman of God. A woman who makes disciples of Jesus. A woman who loves her husband and children. A woman who knows who she is and doesn't have to accept any watered-down versions that society has to offer.] Anyway, my ears perked up when he talked about his teenage daughter. For one, Chan actually allowed his daughter to travel alone to go on a mission trip to Thailand. He talked about how he wrestled with this one. She felt that God had called her to do it, though. But…young pretty Asian girl going to one of the blackest holes of sex-trafficking in the world? I know parents who are afraid for their kids to go to Hume Lake. But he let her go. He knew she wasn’t his to keep. She was God’s. He made arrangements for her to go and meet a friend in the airport. And then…

Imagine the feeling of being in an interview and getting this text from your daughter:

“Daddy, I’m at the airport. I’ve walked up and down it twice. I’m alone, and I’m scared. What do I do?”

Chan describes having to “take this one,” and texting his daughter back, “You are not alone. God is with you.” And then, immediately after the text, getting the woman who was supposed to meet her on the phone and making sure the two could find one another. [They kept missing each other. She was at the airport.]

I’m still wrestling with this story. All I know is that, on that day, God’s provision was very real to Chan’s daughter. On that day, she began a trip where I’m sure she was used by God in the lives of young people in Thailand. Her passion for others was being fueled while she was growing in wonder of how amazing God can be. Oh, and in the process, I’m sure she was provoked to discover who she was as a young woman of God. A thousand sermons were planted in her heart. Do we allow for similar lessons to be impressed on the hearts of our kids?

I am thankful for the time that I had last Thursday. Like I said, I’m still wrestling with all of this. But it affects my prayers for my family, for my marriage, and for Evie’s life. She’s mine, but she’s not. She’ll always be my little girl, but she won’t.

More questions than answers on this one.

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An Inconvenient Truth

January 26, 2012

How can I convince anyone that the church needs to take raising up parents to raise up kids seriously? In other words, how can I convince anyone that we need to be “Orange”?

The only thing that I can liken to “being orange” is “being green.” By now, we all know (at least in some practical sense) what it means to be “green.” Once a Kermit the Frog song, now we know that it is important for us to take seriously the stewardship of this earth that God given us.

I remember when people who wanted to recycle or celebrate “Earth Day” were considered hippies and a joke. I think a transition happened after Al Gore’s movie, “An Inconvenient Truth.” All of a sudden, it was if the world sat up straight and started to listen to what may be a problem. In many ways, Al Gore’s work was prophetic to a world that wasn’t listening.

So…I’m wondering, if the idea “orange” isn’t sticking, and people are really just relegating it to gimmick or “stuff for kids” status, where’s the “inconvenient truth” that could capture our hearts?

Maybe there are more ideas than just this one, but I was stopped dead in my tracks this morning as I was reading the book of Judges:

7 And the people served the LORD all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders who outlived Joshua, who had seen all the great work that the LORD had done for Israel. 8 And Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of the LORD, died at the age of 110 years. And they buried him… 10 And all that generation also were gathered to their fathers.

I have to think about the way society was back in those times. You probably lived near your parents your whole life. They would be a great influence on you. This generation appears to be a busy generation. God had charged their fathers with fighting for the heart, imagining the end, making it personal, creating a rhythm, and widening the circle. And, quite honestly, it doesn’t seem like they did it. This generation gleaned some of what their parents may have taught them. But, look at what happened next. Midway through Judges 2:10, I was floored…

And there arose another generation after them who did not know the LORD or the work that he had done for Israel.

What happened? A whole generation didn’t know the Lord! A whole generation didn’t even know what God had done for Israel! Moses had warned two generations ago about this! He basically told them to IMPRESS these things on the heart of the next generation because there will be a time when they’ll be asking questions about “why do we pray?” and “what’s the big idea with Passover?” Two generations later, the grandkids know nothing.

Maybe we can blame the grandparents. They didn’t raise their kids to know that they needed to take their kids’ faith seriously.

Maybe we can blame the parents. Maybe they were preoccupied with conquering and settling the Promised Land. Too busy to impress anything on their kids.

I was horrified by the results…

11 And the people of Israel did what was evil in the sight of the LORD and served the Baals. 12 And they abandoned the LORD, the God of their fathers, who had brought them out of the land of Egypt. They went after other gods, from among the gods of the peoples who were around them, and bowed down to them. And they provoked the LORD to anger. 13 They abandoned the LORD and served the Baals and the Ashtaroth. 14 So the anger of the LORD was kindled against Israel, and he gave them over to plunderers, who plundered them. And he sold them into the hand of their surrounding enemies, so that they could no longer withstand their enemies. 15 Whenever they marched out, the hand of the LORD was against them for harm, as the LORD had warned, and as the LORD had sworn to them. And they were in terrible distress.

A generation forfeited their obligation to speak into the next generation (to be orange), and the next generation neglected to provide any spiritual guidance. And now here’s a generation that’s totally lost. Depraved. Seeking hope in other gods. Making God angry with their behavior. Vulnerable. Hurt. “In terrible distress.”

Here’s what’s an “inconvenient truth” to me. If we don’t take seriously our charge as parents to raise up our kids to be followers of Jesus, it’s not like we have to die in order for us to lose our influence. Back in the day, you’d be around your family your whole life. Influence was probably a strong, life-long reality. But nowadays, your kid could go off to college; and that could be pretty much it. There may be holidays, but the influencing time was really in that first eighteen years.

This is one of the reasons that Orange means so much to me. At least they’re doing SOMETHING! Oh, and it’s not like they invented in some lab in Atlanta. This was God’s plan from the beginning. See Deuteronomy chapter 6. This wasn’t GOD’S PLAN! Just because they didn’t follow it doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t work. I would think that God’s plan would work just fine if we actually followed it.

I freaked out when I saw shrinking polar ice caps.

I freaked out when I read Judges 2:10.

This whole orange thing is no joke.

Posted by in movies, orange leaders, orange parents, paul Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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Every Parent Should Buy…

November 8, 2011

…”Parenting Beyond Your Capacity” by Reggie Joiner & Carey Nieuwhof. You can do it here.

No, seriously. You could buy four Starbucks drinks with the amount of money it costs and watch a week’s worth of Wheel of Fortune in the time that it would probably take to read it and realign your gauges for what’s important as a parent.

I am the skeptic of all skeptics. I don’t drink anyone’s Kool-Aid, even if it’s “orange” Kool-Aid. When I read a book, I think the burden of proof is always on the author to show me that what he/she is saying is the real deal.

That’s why it’s so remarkable that, when I read “Parenting Beyond Your Capacity,” I literally would get so excited about sections that I would have to tell my wife, “Hey, listen to this!”

The book is organized in a conversational tone from both authors to discuss ideas such as:

* A parent’s influence is best realized in partnership with the church.
[Orange 101]

* God isn’t holding up a perfect picture; He’s writing a bigger story.
[So stop trying to appear "perfect."]

* Pursue strategic relationships for your kids.
[You can't do this by yourself! No one can or should.]

* Focus your priorities on what matters most.
[Imagine the end. WHO do we want our kids to become?]

* Communicate in a style that gives the relationship value.
[Fight for the heart!]

* Increase the quantity of quality time you spend together.
[How do you interact with your kid? Is there a rhythm?]

* Put yourself first when it comes to personal growth.
[Does your faith make your kids believe more or less in God?]

* You can mobilize your family to demonstrate God’s love in a broken world.
[Focus the family.]

I’m on the early, early end of the parenting spectrum. Shoot, my baby is like, what, seventeen days old. But I’m hoping that I will still be implementing the strategies and ideas from this book when Evie is seventeen years old.

This is a resource that I can literally put in any parent’s hands if they are humble enough to ask for help!

I will hit more of this book as I continue to write on this blog because I’m now fully wrapped up in “Think Orange” (the mothership of Orange books– aimed at church leaders). What makes this book great, though, is that it speaks directly to the parent side of the equation. Good, good stuff.

I’m not saying this book is the end all be all, though. With that being said…

Are their any other parenting resources that you have read (or would like to share with me) that have really helped you as a parent (or you as a family ministry person) to grow up your kids in their faith?

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