Orange Dad
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Tag Archives: jesus

Me and Evie: Dropping Her Off

January 15, 2013

 

 

 

me and evie

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This past Tuesday was a huge milestone for my little girl.  As my wife is working on her degree from Fresno Pacific, we decided that it would be good for Evie (and mom) to drop her off for a couple of half-days each week at our church’s child care center.

As a dad, I think I was proud of how easily Evie adjusted to this big change in her life.  It didn’t hurt that she was pretty familiar with the basic environment from going to church every Sunday.  She had already met some of her teachers, and we know that our childcare is “orange” and really trying to partner with families!  So, yeah, it was a no-brainer (in one sense).

On the other hand, it was hard.  It’s just hard to let go.  I think sometimes we forget that we’re not raising little Rapunzels to live in a tower or Quasimodos to live in our cathedrals– that, at some point, we have to let our princesses and princes experience the world.  How can Evie become a follower of Jesus if we lock her up in our home!

I’m thankful for the Child Care Center, though, for walking with us through this experience.  One of her teachers even texted us a picture of Evie eating lunch, so we didn’t have to worry.  When I picked her up on Thursday afternoon, she was sitting on the floor, in the lap of another teacher, reading a book with her monkey.  She was happy, and it made me happy.  She even told me, “She likes it when I sing to her.”  I love to think that someone else is singing to my baby as well.

Oh, and I’m not going to lie– I definitely “checked in on her” (being that I was right next door).  She’s adjusting to life with other people her age.  Boys.  Girls.  Nap time.  A different routine.

And, well, let’s face it– so are me and mommy.  A different routine.  But isn’t that name of the game with parenting?  I mean, just when you have one aspect nailed down, God presents new challenges.  I was reading in my Bible the other day, and some ideas came up (that seemed to be relevant to this).

Jesus is the Author of everything (including Evie, lasagna, sleep, the Doodlebops and sippy cups).  He is the Sustainer of everything as well (meaning God holds together my little one’s heart).  He is the End of everything (the reason Evie exists).  It won’t be long before she’s up at bat to glorify Him.  I want her to learn how to navigate life on her own, and I think a little socialization and figuring things out won’t hurt her in that process.

So, this week was a big step in that direction!  She’s charging ahead, and I’m excited to watch her grow up into it!

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Orange Thought Bubbles: Finding Home

January 10, 2013

orange thought bubbles

SmaugEaglesTrailer-02

Recently, my wife and I did something we rarely do.  We went to go see a movie.  A movie like “The Hobbit” will definitely draw me out of my normal balking about movie prices, “we have a one-year-old” excuses, and general distaste for what comes out these days.  I’m a huge Middle Earth fan (as is my wife), so it was a no-brainer that this had to be the first movie we went out to see since having Evie.

So, we lined up one of our friends to babysit; and we were off to see the wizard (Gandalf, that is) and the amazing tale of Bilbo and more dwarves than Snow White has ever seen.  First off, I really liked the movie and thought that Peter Jackson did a good job of creating some background and motivation for certain characters that just isn’t there in Tolkien’s book.  One aspect that was tweaked a little bit was the dwarves motivation for raiding the Lonely Mountain to take on the evil dragon, Smaug.

In the book, it seems like the dwarves are only concerned with getting rich off of the gold that Smaug stole and is guarding.  But, the movie really emphasizes this idea that the dwarves are essentially homeless wanderers because of Smaug.  He destroyed their kingdom (in the Lonely Mountain) and plopped down on their gold, basically bullying the dwarves out of their home.

There is a key scene that got me thinking about youth ministry (well, any ministry for that matter).  In it, Thorin (the leader of the dwarves) challenges Bilbo (a hobbit) as to why he doesn’t just leave this difficult quest and go home to his comfy home in the Shire.  Bilbo responds that it is exactly because he has a home that he wants to stick with the dwarves.  Because he knows what home is like, he wants to aid the dwarves in having that feeling of home.

In the movie, the dwarves are rough and grumbly because of sixty years of wandering (ok, and maybe just some due to dwarvishness).  And maybe that’s exactly why teenagers can be rough and grumbly, that classic “angst.”  Yeah, I’m sure some of it is just par for the course (because it’s just teenageness); but I think part of it is because our teens just don’t know the feeling of home.

I see teenagers pretending to be something they’re not all the time, trying to impress whomever they can to get attention that they crave, pouring all their emotions into love interests, trying on new personalities and points of view, and generally demonstrating the behavior of wandering souls.

And that is precisely why, as a youth leader, I am staying on this quest.  I know what home in a relationship with Jesus feels like (being where I’m supposed to be, what I’m supposed to be, and with whom I’m supposed to live life)– and I want to share that with these dwarves…I mean teens.

We all need home.

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The Most Un-”Orange-Dad” Verse in the Bible?!? #thinkorange

September 22, 2012

I love verses about loving your kids and investing in them.  You could probably rattle off a couple right off the top of your head (or make something up…or sprinkle in some Oprah quotes or something you read on a fortune cookie one time).

The bottom line is (and maybe this is one of the reasons that it’s easy to get an audience about parenting) that it’s easy to get people in our culture to talk about loving their kids.  This is something that is both Obama and Romney approved.  Love your kids.  Yay.

That’s why this verse with Jesus “messes with” me a little bit in Luke 14:25-27:

25 Now great crowds accompanied [Jesus], and He turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. 27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.”

This sounds so radical to me.  In a culture that does everything it can to promote child safety, focus “on” the family, and universally love family (whether it’s traditional or “modern”), this is like fingernails scratching a blackboard or a record skipping during the middle of a dance party.  It’s abrupt.  It definitely gets your attention.  But what does Jesus mean?

Does Jesus mean that we’re supposed to forego our familial commitments in order to “prove” how much we love Jesus?  Does Jesus mean that we’re supposed to give our kids a snake when they ask for a loaf of bread? Does this mean that we should just insult our spouses every chance we get?

No, no, and no.

This is a hyperbolic statement.  That’s a literary device.  It’s meant to not be taken literally and is used for emphasis or effect.  So…what’s the emphasis?  Well, the conclusion is about following Jesus with your life.  So, Jesus is emphatically saying that Jesus must be primary.  Our pastor said last week that this is a DTR with Jesus in which He is seeking to “define the relationship.”  I remember those from my younger days.  A girl corners you and asks something to the effect of, “What are we doing here?” or “Where do you see this going?”  As a guy, we try to stiff-arm that conversation and get onto where we’re going to eat.

Jesus is asking us, “What are we doing here” or “Where do you see this relationship going?”  We can put off that question; but, more than anything, it’s the most important question you can answer about your own life.  Being a great husband or wife can’t save you.  Giving your children everything you didn’t have can’t save you.  Only Jesus can save you.

So…yes, compared to my relationship with Jesus, I guess I ought to hate my beautiful wife.

And, yes, compared to my relationship with Jesus, I guess I ought to hate my bubbly little baby.

And as weird as that sounds (I almost didn’t write it for fear of being misunderstood), I know that it needs to be true.  I can’t put anything ahead of my relationship with my Savior.  He brings me life.  He brings me joy.  He enables me (through the regeneration of my heart by the Holy Spirit) to really love my wife and my daughter.

First things first.  Make it personal.

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Heartfelt Father’s Day Experience

September 6, 2012

First off, I am completely aware that I am posting something about Father’s day September.  That may be an indication of how crazy my summer has been…

This past Father’s Day, my church had father’s come up on stage with one of their kids and a little cardboard sign.  On the cardboard sign was a number– a number signifying how many more weekends that dad had left to be the primary influence in his kid’s life (before they went off to college).  It was a powerful moment.  I’ve written about the concept before here.  Also, my header (for now) on my FB fan page is a picture of all the dads.

This video followed.  These are the dads who were “at zero.”  In other words, these were the dads whose sons and daughters were graduating and heading off to community college or college.  Just being a part of the filming process with these men was humbling, and it really made me think about the time that I have with Evie.  Thank you Jon, Mark, Paul, and Brian for sharing you heart in this:

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Orange Family Values

June 20, 2012

Today I want to take some time to check out a passage of the Bible that has been the foundation of a series that we just finished at New Harvest this past Sunday: Orange.  Actually, if you want to listen to the sermons from the series, you can listen here.  [These values come from a book, "Think Orange" by Reggie Joiner, which I highly recommend.]

We’re going to take it back to the old school and check out Moses’ charge to the nation of Israel not too long before his death.  It’s in the fourth book of the Bible: Deuteronomy.  What I’d like to do is take the passage bit by bit and provide a little reminder of what this verse means for us today:

Deuteronomy 6:4-12

“Hear O Israel…”

The first family value comes out of the first three words!  See, when Moses was speaking (and you’ll see it’s all about raising up the next generation to have authentic faith), he wasn’t just talking to parents.  He wasn’t just talking to “religious leaders.”  He was talking to the ENTIRE NATION.  That leads us to value #1…

#1 WIDEN THE CIRCLE

Widening the circle means allowing as many people as you can to invest in the spiritual growth of your kids.  Parents, that means that you can’t be the only spiritual voice in the lives of your kids.  Church people, it means that you’ve got to make sure that you partner WITH parents.  When it comes to imparting an authentic faith on the next generation, the more the merrier!

“…the LORD our God, the LORD is one.”

The second family value flows out of this.  Basically, Moses is saying that all of life boils down to this.  This is the framework for your life.  ”God is our God.  God is the only God.”  This may not seem significant on a surface level, but if life is all about God, how we raise our kids is going to be different than if we think that life is all about something else.  Life is not about being “well-adjusted” or “well-rounded” or “happy” or “having all the things we couldn’t have when we were kids.”  Life is about knowing Jesus and making Him known.  That’s why value #2 is…

#2 IMAGINE THE END

Instead of obsessing about WHAT we want our kids to be (ie, the next Peyton Manning, the next great ballerina, the next Bill Gates)– we should be focusing on who they are.  Do they understand that they are a child of God?  Does that captivate their hearts?  Is it the framework of every decision they make?  If that’s the goal, how do we get there?

“…you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.”

God uses heart language to describe the relationship that He wants for His followers.  Yeah, parents would probably love to have an obedient kid; but, even beyond the rules, we should care about what’s going on in the heart.  Why do I say that?  It’s clear that God is most concerned with the heart condition of His followers throughout the Bible. That leads us to value #3…

#3 FIGHT FOR THE HEART

If God fights for our hearts by constantly reminding us of how much He loves us and all He’s done for us, shouldn’t we do the same for our kids?  We should fight for their hearts!  We shouldn’t give up on them (even when they break the rules).  We should demonstrate sacrificial, heart communication to our kids (even when they frustrate us to no end).  Why?  Because that’s how God loves us.

“And these words that I command you today shall be upon your heart.”

It’s easy to teach stuff that you don’t practice yourself.  But, when you see that your leader is not the real thing, it can really poke a hole in everything that person ever said.  That’s why we can’t teach our kids what we don’t own ourselves.  And that’s our #4 value…

#4 MAKE IT PERSONAL

You’ve got to own your relationship with God.  Most Christian parents want their kids to be “prayer warriors,” but rare is the family that actually takes the time to pray with their families (besides Thanksgiving or “grace”).  We don’t want our kids to form their viewpoints of the world based on media or their friends (or their schools), but we don’t expose them to the counter-message that’s in Scripture.  Oh, man, we’ve got to get this one right.

“…you shall teach [these words that I command you today] diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

Moses talks about universal stuff that everyone in every time and every culture can do.  We all wake up, go to bed, talk at home, and travel.  In these natural rhythms of life, we’re supposed to talk about who God is and what difference He makes.  If life is all about Him, life’s rhythms should reflect Him throughout.  Which brings us to value #5…

#5 CREATE A RHYTHM

We can’t pretend that this kind of stuff (Bible study, discussions about God, what they’re learning in church, prayer, etc.) is just going to happen “organically.”  It won’t.  Our culture isn’t going to just remind us to do this.  We have to be intentional!  I love the Parent Cue app that Orange puts out because it at least gives us pointers in the right direction if we’re totally clueless!  But, whatever you do, you’ve got to wrestle with the rhythms of your family’s life and where God fits into all of it.

Moses ends by telling us why this is so important in verses 10-12.  To paraphrase: “One of these days.  Life is going to be a whole lot easier because God’s going to make good on His promise to give you an awesome land and an awesome life.  When you’ve got all that great stuff around you (distractions and blessings), make sure you don’t forget about God!”

Ultimately, that’s the thing: our kids can grow up to be “well-adjusted,” but how well adjusted can someone be when they’ve still got a HUGE sin problem?  And is it really great to be “well-rounded” at things that don’t matter?  What about being “happy” and ignorant?  No thanks.  Oh, and what about if they did have everything we c0uldn’t have growing up but totally MISSED the most important thing (a relationship with God).

These family values matter.

Let’s focus on the right stuff.

Posted by in books, orange leaders, orange parents, paul Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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Capturing the Heart of Preschoolers: @cassbrannan #oc12

May 24, 2012

I was really excited to go to this breakout at the Orange Conference for three main reasons:

1. I have a preschooler.

It’s a fact.  Evie’s not in school, so that makes her pre-school.

2. I want her heart to be captured by Jesus.

As Cass said, “If we don’t, the world will.”

3. A guy was leading this breakout.

Maybe I’m weird to think it’s unique that a guy is a preschool guru, but I want to join the ranks of guys who are passionate about pre-school ministry.

First off, I’m thankful that Cass shared his notes from his breakout on his blog here.  That saves me a lot of work!

I was most touched by how accessible parents can really make the Bible for our kids.  We can break the Bible down to essential truths and weave those into everyday conversation.  I’m going with the big three: “God made me,” “God loves me,” and “Jesus wants to be my friend forever.”  The main thing is that our kids realize that the Bible is the place to go to find out all we need to know.

I was touched by a couple of examples of the difference between getting a preschooler to memorize a verse to get free stickers and how to write God’s truth on their hearts.  In one example, Cass talked about a kid who had actually comforted his family in the midst of a tornado because he remembered “be strong and courageous…don’t be afraid.”  I’d love for Evie to know those kinds of things during the “tornados” of life.  Also, Cass illustrated how to extend a Bible story from Sunday morning throughout the week.  He talked about how his kids had learned about the miraculous catch of fish in church.  While the boys where in the tub, Cass dumped all of their tub toys (so at least 3,000 items) into the tub to demonstrate how much God had provided.  This giggly moment probably hammered home to those boys this story.

The pressure’s on (in a good way) because I was reminded that kids can smell fake– we’ve got to teach, model, and live what we’re telling our kids.

I think I was most touched by the idea that we really have to make the most of the time that we have; and the way that we can do that is by creating a rhythm.  We can take advantage of the little moments in a preschooler’s life: play time, car time, bath time, and cuddle time.  We can pray, talk, ask our kids what was their favorite thing of the day and what was their least favorite.  The bottom line is that we have to capture our kids’ hearts (and no…not in some weird Indiana Jones “GOLIMAR” kind of way).

This had me thinking about the music that I listen to while I’m hanging out with Evie.  And, although I’m not listening to gangsta rap with her around, I am kind of in neutral with what I was listening to: Raffi, Yo Gabba Gabba, or Disney stuff.  I realized I can do better.  I bought three CD’s that I’m going to review on here soon: Yancy Not Nancy’s “Little Praise Party: Happy EveryDay” [listen online] and the Orange peeps’ “Zapped” [listen online] and (my favorite) “Whoooo Loves You?” [listen online].  Evie loves these songs, and I love them too because she’s learning “God made it all,” that Jesus is a “present from heaven,” and that God is with her.

Bottom line from all of this is that I know it’s going to take work.  Cass said it’s going to take work.  But, at the end of the day, we want our kids to be oozing with a Biblical worldview.  It was convicting and informative.  I began to realize that being creative about how to reach our little ones is definitely a worthwhile investment of energy.  Cass has great ideas on his blog.  Also, I want to send a shout out to Amanda White’s blog for this because she’s really creative too (so you don’t have to be).

What sorts of things do you do (or have done) with your preschoolers to write God’s Word on their hearts?

Posted by in orange conference, orange leaders, orange parents, paul Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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@HisLittleFeet International Children’s Choir

May 17, 2012

I’m really excited about something that’s going to be coming to my church next Wednesday evening at 7 PM.  Hearing stories from Mary Kate’s travels overseas, I have a feeling that this free concert is going to be amazing.  But it’s the cause that really fires me up as a dad and a follower of Jesus.  Here’s how they are described from their web site:

His Little Feet’s Children’s Choir travels the United States, being the voice for orphaned and vulnerable children worldwide. The purpose of the tour is to bring the awareness to the millions of children around the world in need of care, as well as facilitate opportunities for Americans to respond to the needs of children through giving, sponsoring, going and adopting.

Count me in.  The idea of adoption has been weighing on me for the past couple of years, and I know that there are couples in my church who are actively pursuing adopting children from places like China and Jamaica.  At the Orange Conference, I learned that, just in America, if 1 in every 3 churches had one family who adopted an American child, the need for adoption would be eradicated in the United States.  That had my wheels spinning.  International adoptions are just as important, and I think that the church can and should really step up their game in this area.  God reveals His heart in the letter from James (Jesus’ brother):

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” [James 1:27]

Caring for orphans is, to borrow a modern phrasing, a “no-brainer” for followers of Jesus.  So…I think that, regardless of where you stand in the readiness or eagerness to adopt, we at least need to put ourselves in a position to allow God to speak to us in this issue that is obviously important to Him.  That being said, come to the concert next Wednesday night if you’re in town, or at least check out their web site for when they’re coming to a town near you.

All of the children performing are orphans from either Ethiopia or Honduras (ages 6-12).  They all chose to give up their rights to be adopted for the one-year commitment to be a part of this ministry that travels the United States performing for churches and shedding light on the overwhelming issue.  I am sure that hearing their story and watching them perform will be a “cup filler” for your entire family.  

Also, if you are local, print out the flier here [Poster New Harvest Church] and share it with as many people as you can!  I’ll see you there next Wednesday evening…

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What’s the Point of Parenting? @craiggroeschel #oc12

May 14, 2012

I was just listening to a song by Lecrae called “Misconception.”  The more and more I look at our culture, I’m beginning to think that we have so many misconceptions about the point of parenting.  Two covers of one baby magazine that MK and I get in the mail have recently had “how to raise a genius” and “how to raise a cultured child.”  Then, of course, that “Time” magazine cover has opened up the floodgates of this idea of “attachment parenting”– orbiting your whole world around your kids’ “needs.”

We may have some misconceptions.  And, yeah, maybe we sympathize with the struggles of families on shows like “Parenthood” or laugh at what we have in common with the families on shows like “Modern Family,” how often do we really think about the point of all this?

Craig Groeschel really leaned into this issue at the Orange Conference, and I’m glad he did.  He spoke to the culture.  Let’s be honest, our culture says that parenting is all about “raising well-rounded, well-educated, happy kids.”  Maybe you can throw in some other things that you like, but those seem to be three biggies.  But, Jesus says, “What good is it if you gain the whole world yet forfeit your soul?”

Groeschel reminds us of Psalm 71:18:

“Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare Your power TO THE NEXT GENERATION, your might TO ALL WHO ARE TO COME.”

This should be our prayer.  There is a different picture of successful parenting that is laid out in Scripture, and it looks something more like this:

“We are called to unleash single-minded, Christ-centered, Biblically-anchored, world-changers.”

Let’s break that down.  ”Unleash” means that you let them interact with the world, make a difference in the world (you can’t do that from a “holy huddle”).  ”Single-minded” implies that our kids would know how they are wired, what their gifts are.  ”Christ-centered” rightly assumes that life is all about Jesus.  ”Biblically-anchored” means that they would know God’s Word.  And the result of all of this would simply be that they are “world-changers.”  Or…”game changers” if you want to stick with the theme of the Orange Conference.

So…Groeschel explains some major ways in which we can do this, highlighting Deuteronomy 6:4-9:

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the LORD is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”

1. As parents, we need to ENLIST SUPPORTING VOICES.

Moses is addressing “O Israel”– that’s like everybody.  Later on, this dynamic of widening the circle of influence is evident in the life of Timothy.  Yeah, he had his godly familial influences (Lois and Eunice, mom and grandma); but he also had Paul.  He would tell him the hard stuff like, “Don’t let anyone look down on you” and “don’t have a spirit of fear.”  Timothy had consistent harmonious voices in his life, encouraging him to step up and be a world-changer.

2. As parents, we need to RAISE THE EXPECTATIONS.

I guess we could aim for our kids to love God with some of their hearts and some of their mind and some of their strength.  That’d be the same as them getting some schooling or being kinda healthy, though!  Oh, how our standards have lowered in this area!  Did you know that back in the day, Jewish kids would memorize the first five books of the Bible before they were twelve years old?!?  [Now people in the church would gladly give a teenager $5 if they could just give the names of the books.]  This upcoming generation (“Time” magazine is calling our youngest adults now “kidults”) are growing up without much being expected of them.  [Apparently, getting trophies for just showing up wasn't the BEST idea in the world.  You were supposed to feel bad if you didn't get a blue ribbon on Field Day!]  So, the question really is, “How are you going to raise the expectations?”  Groeschel talked about how, amongst his six children, they each have to have a mentor and be a mentor for someone else.  He posed the semi-rhetorical question, “How many 11-year-olds can mentor or 16-year-olds can write a book?”  The answer: ones who are told they CAN.  But are we telling our kids these things: “You CAN lead a Bible study.”  ”You CAN lead a friend to Christ.”  ”You CAN lead a mission trip.”  Challenging stuff.

3. As parents we need to KEEP IT REAL.

Deuteronomy 6:7-9 has this undercurrent that talking about God should be NORMAL in your home.  Praying for others should be NORMAL.  Have we made this, as my pastor likes to say, “Abeenormal” (or as Groeschel would say, “Weird”)?  We’ve got to grow up a generation of young people who don’t think that God is just a “part” of their lives– He’s everything.  I love that Groeschel shared how he offers a fatherly blessing to his kids every morning before he leaves.  [Wow.  What a legacy that would be to Evie.  I can't believe I had forgotten about that one!  Glad I'm reviewing my notes!]  Groeschel simply stated, “If it’s not real to you, they won’t do it.”  So is prayer real to you?  Is the Word real to you?  Is truth real to you?  Is integrity real to you?  Is grace real to you?  Even we ministry-types need to repent of ever putting “the work of God” ahead of His work in us.

In the words of Simon Cowell (but for totally different reasons): “The bar has officially been raised.”  Imagine the end.  What do you want your kid(s) to become?

Posted by in orange conference, orange parents, paul Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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The Messiness of Ministry: @ReggieJoiner #OC12

May 10, 2012

At the Orange Conference, Reggie Joiner gave a great message about getting messy in ministry.  It’s true that “sometimes God’s job for us is messier than we had in mind.”  Reggie shared a story of how he helped a man who had soiled himself in the bathroom at the mall.  My wife loves telling people about her dedication to me– I once had taken so much valium after a surgery that I soiled myself, and she lovingly cleaned it up.  [If pooping in your pants is cool.  Consider me Miles Davis?]  So, yeah, sometimes love gets messy…

Here are some of Reggie’s main points:

1. There’s no way to do what we do [in ministry] without getting messy.

Whether it’s working with babies (I got bit and peed on in my time in my old church’s preschool ministry), working with middle school (recovering from when a kid passes gas in a small group), or high school (breakups, questions of sexuality, etc.), ministry gets messy!

2. There was no way for Jesus to do what He did without getting messy.

Jesus didn’t live a sinless life so He could be an example; He lived so that He could die.  He didn’t die to make us happy; He died so we can be forgiven.

3. Making disciples required getting messy.

Jesus sent the disciples into a “Hunger Games” type environment.  These young people who were given the gift of the Holy Spirit and the words of the Gospel were thrust into a world where everyone was watching their every move, hanging on their every word, and planning how they would die.  I mean, what were they going to do, though?  They saw Jesus’ example.  If Jesus did messy, they did messy.  And they did.  When we are making disciples of Jesus who make disciples, we have to prepare them for a messy world too.  The interesting thing is that a lot of ministry-types view increased numbers and convenience of ministry as success– what if success is measured by getting messier?

4. There’s no way to make disciples without them getting messy.

This is really resonating with me.  One of the biggest take-homes from the Orange Conference.  We’ve got to provide opportunities for our students to do ministry while they are with us.  It’s easy to pretend to love God; it’s hard to pretend to love your neighbor.  Yeah, we can grow our kids up in “the truth”– but let’s remember that Jesus said the greatest commandment was to love God and love people.  Reggie made this great point, “Don’t minimize what God has maximized.”  Wow.  We got to empower our students to put love in action.

I don’t know about you, but I’m already wanting to shut down my news feed on Facebook the last couple of weeks.  I don’t know how my heart can take all of the negativity, half-truths, and attacks that are going on amongst my friends and family on Facebook daily.  It’s probably only going to get worse as we near November.  And even then, people will have sour grapes for a long time afterwards.  God knows I am so, so tempted to get caught up in the maelstrom of arguments.  That’s a different kind of messy than what Reggie is talking about.  But Reggie challenged us again in the idea that “Jesus changed hearts; He didn’t establish a kingdom.”  Right now, we should probably focus on the Gospel (the story of how people can be made right with God) than the issues.  Christians need to unite around the Gospel and spend a little less time arguing about whether Jesus would have worn a red or blue tie.

You know, ultimately, God chose the image of blood and the Cross to remind us of God’s love.  Boy, if that’s not messy, I don’t know what is.  That night, we celebrated that image by having communion together as a group.  That was really powerful.  I bet we all believed different things about all kinds of aspects of the Bible and life.  But we all united on that evening around the atoning sacrifice of Jesus.  Somehow that messiness bonded us all together.

My prayer is that I don’t run away from the messiness of real ministry, Jesus-style ministry.  Reggie kicked the conference off with an important challenge.

Let’s get messy.

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My Circle #thinkorange

May 8, 2012

I’ve been talking a lot about this idea of “widening the circle” amongst youth group parents and with anyone I can talk to– it’s the idea of having other, committed, non-parental adults in the life of your kid as they are growing up.  You want to have people who would say what you would say to your kid (but with a different, possibly more effective, voice).

In preparation for our “Orange” series (which starts this Sunday morning), Pastor Mitch asked the Family Ministry team to talk about their people– the ones who invested in them when they were younger.  It was great to hear about the people who invested in my team mates.

I laughed to myself during the meeting, “Well, this would be a good blog post…”

The Celtics have KG, Pierce, and Ray.  Here are my “Big Three”…

Sister Bernadette is a nun from Ireland who invested in me and my brothers when I was in elementary school.  She was probably in her 40′s (it goes without saying that she wasn’t married or a mom), and she was just a fixture at St. Francis Catholic Church in Mocksville, NC.  Did I constantly impersonate the Irish trill in her voice?  Maybe.  But she was always patient with me.  I think you had to have a sense of humor to love me with my mullet and hyperactive personality.  She would take us on trips to go see the Christmas lights and preside over church picnics and the like.  I remember that she would let me be myself in church plays, and I always had a sense that she believed in me.  I can still hear her encouraging me to settle down.

I walked away from church when I was in middle school.  I got a gig working at the Holiday Inn bussing tables and washing dishes.  The cold, hard cash was tempting for a young guy with a baseball card addiction.

But, years later, when I was sifting through the wreckage of an ugly divorce between my mom and my stepdad, trying to figure out who I was in high school, I went to Young Life for the first time.  There, I met two more of my Big Three.

Hunter French was a Wake Forest junior when I started coming to Young Life.  He led my “campaigner” Bible study.  He was a vegetarian.  I’d never met one of those.  I remember the first time I came to his group.  He said to open up the book of Ephesians, and I thought that an “ephesian” sounded more like a foot disease.  I was lost, but he helped me to map my way towards God’s truth.  He loved teenagers.  Our small group was a motley crew, and he loved us all the same.  The Waffle House ended up becoming a sacred space on Thursday nights when we would meet and talk about who Jesus is.  I loved him so much that I ended up taking my first road trip with another campaigner buddy to Bethesda, MD to be at his wedding.

Mark Hogan was a guy in his 40′s who is kind of cloaked in mystery for me.  He was never around that much with Young Life.  I think he was on the committee, more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy.  I know he worked in finance.  I’m not even sure if he had a family.  But he was there when I needed him.  When I needed him was when I went to Frontier Ranch in July of 1995.  There, the Gospel penetrated my heart; and, for the first time in my life, I surrendered my life to Jesus.  It was great to have a father-figure on that trip because I was seeing for the first time how much my heavenly Father loves me.  I remember the night I surrendered my life to Jesus hugging him and weeping like a little baby because I had just “gotten” a glimpse of how much God loved me.

Mark and the rest of my cabin. I’m upper left. He’s got a sweet mustache.

Those are my three.  They probably don’t even know they are.  There are three questions here.  Answer any or all:

Who are your people?

Who are you positioning in the life of your kid(s) to be those people?

Where do you serve the next generation?


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