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Tag Archives: imagine the end

Me and Evie: Dropping Her Off

January 15, 2013

 

 

 

me and evie

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This past Tuesday was a huge milestone for my little girl.  As my wife is working on her degree from Fresno Pacific, we decided that it would be good for Evie (and mom) to drop her off for a couple of half-days each week at our church’s child care center.

As a dad, I think I was proud of how easily Evie adjusted to this big change in her life.  It didn’t hurt that she was pretty familiar with the basic environment from going to church every Sunday.  She had already met some of her teachers, and we know that our childcare is “orange” and really trying to partner with families!  So, yeah, it was a no-brainer (in one sense).

On the other hand, it was hard.  It’s just hard to let go.  I think sometimes we forget that we’re not raising little Rapunzels to live in a tower or Quasimodos to live in our cathedrals– that, at some point, we have to let our princesses and princes experience the world.  How can Evie become a follower of Jesus if we lock her up in our home!

I’m thankful for the Child Care Center, though, for walking with us through this experience.  One of her teachers even texted us a picture of Evie eating lunch, so we didn’t have to worry.  When I picked her up on Thursday afternoon, she was sitting on the floor, in the lap of another teacher, reading a book with her monkey.  She was happy, and it made me happy.  She even told me, “She likes it when I sing to her.”  I love to think that someone else is singing to my baby as well.

Oh, and I’m not going to lie– I definitely “checked in on her” (being that I was right next door).  She’s adjusting to life with other people her age.  Boys.  Girls.  Nap time.  A different routine.

And, well, let’s face it– so are me and mommy.  A different routine.  But isn’t that name of the game with parenting?  I mean, just when you have one aspect nailed down, God presents new challenges.  I was reading in my Bible the other day, and some ideas came up (that seemed to be relevant to this).

Jesus is the Author of everything (including Evie, lasagna, sleep, the Doodlebops and sippy cups).  He is the Sustainer of everything as well (meaning God holds together my little one’s heart).  He is the End of everything (the reason Evie exists).  It won’t be long before she’s up at bat to glorify Him.  I want her to learn how to navigate life on her own, and I think a little socialization and figuring things out won’t hurt her in that process.

So, this week was a big step in that direction!  She’s charging ahead, and I’m excited to watch her grow up into it!

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Baby D @firstlookcurr

October 16, 2012

Early, early on in my Christian walk, ever since I started going to church again, it’s been hard for me to not personalize and project a little while another couple’s little baby is being dedicated.  I’ve often thought to myself how amazing it’s going to be to have this little child up on the stage  in my arms with Mary Kate with my pastor leading us all in prayer.  And, well, this Sunday is the day for Evie, MK, and me…

Ironically, Evie and I were reading the story of Hannah in her children’s Bible this morning.  Here’s a women who prays to God that she would have a child; and, if she did, that she would dedicate him to God’s service.  I read that little story to Evie and told her, “You know, Evie, your mommy and I prayed like that for you.  You are our little miracle baby from God.”  This whole process of parenting is amazing when you stop to think about what’s going on…

I love the level of intentionality that our church is putting into this process of baby dedication.  We’re going through First Look’s “Baby Dedication” (we call it “Baby D”) curriculum with all parents who are interested in having their child dedicated.

For MK and me, it was a process of listening to some short and very inspiring parenting talks.  We were reminded to “imagine the end” with a homework assignment of writing out WHO we wanted our daughter to be when she was eighteen years old.  And, then, we needed to remember that she isn’t all of a sudden going to be that person– we’ve got to be intentional about helping her develop into that young woman.

So…what follows is my homework assignment (Orange Mom wrote her thoughts out too, but that’d be her choice if she wanted to share on here):

“18 years from now…

I want Evie to love Jesus.  I want her to love people because she knows how much God loves her.  

I want her to know that God made her and loves her and respond to His invitation to be in a relationship with Him.

I want her to discover all that God has made her to be and know how to honor God with her personality, her passions, and her gifts.

I want her to be a compassionate person– loving people freely because she knows she is freely loved.

I want her to understand the importance of simplicity, community, laughter, quiet, and love.

I want her to see relationships as an opportunity to bring people closer to her Jesus.

I want her to know how much her mommy and daddy love her and be secure in that love and look for that kind of love in her own life.”

This little process calls for MK and me to open up these little notes and read them to one another each year on her birthday.  I can imagine that this little exercise will help us steer back on course when the day-in, day-out causes us to veer off the path.  In the end, the most important thing is that Evie knows who Jesus is.

So…yeah, those are my hopes.  What hopes do you have for your little one(s)?

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Heartfelt Father’s Day Experience

September 6, 2012

First off, I am completely aware that I am posting something about Father’s day September.  That may be an indication of how crazy my summer has been…

This past Father’s Day, my church had father’s come up on stage with one of their kids and a little cardboard sign.  On the cardboard sign was a number– a number signifying how many more weekends that dad had left to be the primary influence in his kid’s life (before they went off to college).  It was a powerful moment.  I’ve written about the concept before here.  Also, my header (for now) on my FB fan page is a picture of all the dads.

This video followed.  These are the dads who were “at zero.”  In other words, these were the dads whose sons and daughters were graduating and heading off to community college or college.  Just being a part of the filming process with these men was humbling, and it really made me think about the time that I have with Evie.  Thank you Jon, Mark, Paul, and Brian for sharing you heart in this:

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What IS Family Ministry?

July 19, 2012

[This post is a contribution to a "Blog Tour," consisting of a gazillion bloggers who are one-per-day answering the question: "What is family ministry?"  You can get a link to all the other posts here.  I think I'm blogger #18, and there have been some tremendous posts put out there in the blogosphere already.]

What is family ministry?

“Late to the party.”

Yup.  That would be my initial response.

Let me explain.  I am doing premarital counseling for the first time this month.  I’m really excited about it.  My heart is really in this one because I care deeply about this young man and this young woman’s success.  So, yeah, I’m going to talk about the typical things that premarital counselors would talk about (I think…I’m new to this): family history, money, conflict, “love languages,” expectations, etc.  But…then I realized that I was leaving a gaping hole in my plan of action.  What about the charge in Deuteronomy 6 to families?  Are we even going to talk about the importance of being Orange as a family?  Much to the chagrin of my hypocrisy-o-meter, I wasn’t planning on it.  Woops.

And I wonder, is family ministry often late to the party in our churches?  What can we do to ensure that couples, when they are getting married, KNOW what is expected of them as far as being the primary spiritual influences in the lives of their kids?  We talk about all the good stuff that Reggie Joiner and the Orange Crew talk about by the time they hit our ministries, but wouldn’t it be cool for our young couples to pray for their future families in a Psalm-139-I-prayed-for-you-before-you-were-even-in-your-mama’s-womb kind of way?

The stakes of “making it personal,” “imagining the end,” “creating a rhythm,” “widening the circle,” and “fighting for the heart” are high.  Wouldn’t it be cool to speak a vision into our not-yet-marrieds of how important it is to have a vital relationship with Jesus, to talk about what you want your family to be about, how that’s going to look day-in-day-out, how others can help, and how we never quit on one another?

And, why stop there?  Family ministry may actually start in ministering to college/young adults.  They need to be thinking about these things before they get down on one knee or say, “Yes.”  It was awesome to talk about the Orange family values recently in our college/young adult ministry.  Believe me, they want to figure out how to be healthy husbands, fathers, moms, and dads.

We know that the seeds are planted in our young people when they  have been a part of healthy ministry themselves from pre-K to high school; but I’m thinking that this partnership shouldn’t be neglected in the young-adult, yet-to-have-a-family-of-my-own-years.

I was kicking this idea for this post around with my church’s Family Ministries Director.  She looked at me all weird and told me that she had a dream about the wedding I mentioned earlier.  In the dream, I looked up at everyone during the ceremony and said something like, “You are all witnesses to an amazing thing.  A family is being born today.”  I got goosebumps when I heard about that because it’s a freaky coincidence, and I was (and still am) staggered by the truth of how God does that.  He makes families.  He is the Family Maker.

I know this is a different take on it all (and, honestly, some of the other posts have already covered some of the things that I would have said in my “standard” answer); let’s figure out how we can partner better and better and better– and as early as possible.  It may start earlier than you think.  We don’t want to be late to the party.

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Orange Family Values

June 20, 2012

Today I want to take some time to check out a passage of the Bible that has been the foundation of a series that we just finished at New Harvest this past Sunday: Orange.  Actually, if you want to listen to the sermons from the series, you can listen here.  [These values come from a book, "Think Orange" by Reggie Joiner, which I highly recommend.]

We’re going to take it back to the old school and check out Moses’ charge to the nation of Israel not too long before his death.  It’s in the fourth book of the Bible: Deuteronomy.  What I’d like to do is take the passage bit by bit and provide a little reminder of what this verse means for us today:

Deuteronomy 6:4-12

“Hear O Israel…”

The first family value comes out of the first three words!  See, when Moses was speaking (and you’ll see it’s all about raising up the next generation to have authentic faith), he wasn’t just talking to parents.  He wasn’t just talking to “religious leaders.”  He was talking to the ENTIRE NATION.  That leads us to value #1…

#1 WIDEN THE CIRCLE

Widening the circle means allowing as many people as you can to invest in the spiritual growth of your kids.  Parents, that means that you can’t be the only spiritual voice in the lives of your kids.  Church people, it means that you’ve got to make sure that you partner WITH parents.  When it comes to imparting an authentic faith on the next generation, the more the merrier!

“…the LORD our God, the LORD is one.”

The second family value flows out of this.  Basically, Moses is saying that all of life boils down to this.  This is the framework for your life.  ”God is our God.  God is the only God.”  This may not seem significant on a surface level, but if life is all about God, how we raise our kids is going to be different than if we think that life is all about something else.  Life is not about being “well-adjusted” or “well-rounded” or “happy” or “having all the things we couldn’t have when we were kids.”  Life is about knowing Jesus and making Him known.  That’s why value #2 is…

#2 IMAGINE THE END

Instead of obsessing about WHAT we want our kids to be (ie, the next Peyton Manning, the next great ballerina, the next Bill Gates)– we should be focusing on who they are.  Do they understand that they are a child of God?  Does that captivate their hearts?  Is it the framework of every decision they make?  If that’s the goal, how do we get there?

“…you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.”

God uses heart language to describe the relationship that He wants for His followers.  Yeah, parents would probably love to have an obedient kid; but, even beyond the rules, we should care about what’s going on in the heart.  Why do I say that?  It’s clear that God is most concerned with the heart condition of His followers throughout the Bible. That leads us to value #3…

#3 FIGHT FOR THE HEART

If God fights for our hearts by constantly reminding us of how much He loves us and all He’s done for us, shouldn’t we do the same for our kids?  We should fight for their hearts!  We shouldn’t give up on them (even when they break the rules).  We should demonstrate sacrificial, heart communication to our kids (even when they frustrate us to no end).  Why?  Because that’s how God loves us.

“And these words that I command you today shall be upon your heart.”

It’s easy to teach stuff that you don’t practice yourself.  But, when you see that your leader is not the real thing, it can really poke a hole in everything that person ever said.  That’s why we can’t teach our kids what we don’t own ourselves.  And that’s our #4 value…

#4 MAKE IT PERSONAL

You’ve got to own your relationship with God.  Most Christian parents want their kids to be “prayer warriors,” but rare is the family that actually takes the time to pray with their families (besides Thanksgiving or “grace”).  We don’t want our kids to form their viewpoints of the world based on media or their friends (or their schools), but we don’t expose them to the counter-message that’s in Scripture.  Oh, man, we’ve got to get this one right.

“…you shall teach [these words that I command you today] diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

Moses talks about universal stuff that everyone in every time and every culture can do.  We all wake up, go to bed, talk at home, and travel.  In these natural rhythms of life, we’re supposed to talk about who God is and what difference He makes.  If life is all about Him, life’s rhythms should reflect Him throughout.  Which brings us to value #5…

#5 CREATE A RHYTHM

We can’t pretend that this kind of stuff (Bible study, discussions about God, what they’re learning in church, prayer, etc.) is just going to happen “organically.”  It won’t.  Our culture isn’t going to just remind us to do this.  We have to be intentional!  I love the Parent Cue app that Orange puts out because it at least gives us pointers in the right direction if we’re totally clueless!  But, whatever you do, you’ve got to wrestle with the rhythms of your family’s life and where God fits into all of it.

Moses ends by telling us why this is so important in verses 10-12.  To paraphrase: “One of these days.  Life is going to be a whole lot easier because God’s going to make good on His promise to give you an awesome land and an awesome life.  When you’ve got all that great stuff around you (distractions and blessings), make sure you don’t forget about God!”

Ultimately, that’s the thing: our kids can grow up to be “well-adjusted,” but how well adjusted can someone be when they’ve still got a HUGE sin problem?  And is it really great to be “well-rounded” at things that don’t matter?  What about being “happy” and ignorant?  No thanks.  Oh, and what about if they did have everything we c0uldn’t have growing up but totally MISSED the most important thing (a relationship with God).

These family values matter.

Let’s focus on the right stuff.

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What’s the Point of Parenting? @craiggroeschel #oc12

May 14, 2012

I was just listening to a song by Lecrae called “Misconception.”  The more and more I look at our culture, I’m beginning to think that we have so many misconceptions about the point of parenting.  Two covers of one baby magazine that MK and I get in the mail have recently had “how to raise a genius” and “how to raise a cultured child.”  Then, of course, that “Time” magazine cover has opened up the floodgates of this idea of “attachment parenting”– orbiting your whole world around your kids’ “needs.”

We may have some misconceptions.  And, yeah, maybe we sympathize with the struggles of families on shows like “Parenthood” or laugh at what we have in common with the families on shows like “Modern Family,” how often do we really think about the point of all this?

Craig Groeschel really leaned into this issue at the Orange Conference, and I’m glad he did.  He spoke to the culture.  Let’s be honest, our culture says that parenting is all about “raising well-rounded, well-educated, happy kids.”  Maybe you can throw in some other things that you like, but those seem to be three biggies.  But, Jesus says, “What good is it if you gain the whole world yet forfeit your soul?”

Groeschel reminds us of Psalm 71:18:

“Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare Your power TO THE NEXT GENERATION, your might TO ALL WHO ARE TO COME.”

This should be our prayer.  There is a different picture of successful parenting that is laid out in Scripture, and it looks something more like this:

“We are called to unleash single-minded, Christ-centered, Biblically-anchored, world-changers.”

Let’s break that down.  ”Unleash” means that you let them interact with the world, make a difference in the world (you can’t do that from a “holy huddle”).  ”Single-minded” implies that our kids would know how they are wired, what their gifts are.  ”Christ-centered” rightly assumes that life is all about Jesus.  ”Biblically-anchored” means that they would know God’s Word.  And the result of all of this would simply be that they are “world-changers.”  Or…”game changers” if you want to stick with the theme of the Orange Conference.

So…Groeschel explains some major ways in which we can do this, highlighting Deuteronomy 6:4-9:

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the LORD is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”

1. As parents, we need to ENLIST SUPPORTING VOICES.

Moses is addressing “O Israel”– that’s like everybody.  Later on, this dynamic of widening the circle of influence is evident in the life of Timothy.  Yeah, he had his godly familial influences (Lois and Eunice, mom and grandma); but he also had Paul.  He would tell him the hard stuff like, “Don’t let anyone look down on you” and “don’t have a spirit of fear.”  Timothy had consistent harmonious voices in his life, encouraging him to step up and be a world-changer.

2. As parents, we need to RAISE THE EXPECTATIONS.

I guess we could aim for our kids to love God with some of their hearts and some of their mind and some of their strength.  That’d be the same as them getting some schooling or being kinda healthy, though!  Oh, how our standards have lowered in this area!  Did you know that back in the day, Jewish kids would memorize the first five books of the Bible before they were twelve years old?!?  [Now people in the church would gladly give a teenager $5 if they could just give the names of the books.]  This upcoming generation (“Time” magazine is calling our youngest adults now “kidults”) are growing up without much being expected of them.  [Apparently, getting trophies for just showing up wasn't the BEST idea in the world.  You were supposed to feel bad if you didn't get a blue ribbon on Field Day!]  So, the question really is, “How are you going to raise the expectations?”  Groeschel talked about how, amongst his six children, they each have to have a mentor and be a mentor for someone else.  He posed the semi-rhetorical question, “How many 11-year-olds can mentor or 16-year-olds can write a book?”  The answer: ones who are told they CAN.  But are we telling our kids these things: “You CAN lead a Bible study.”  ”You CAN lead a friend to Christ.”  ”You CAN lead a mission trip.”  Challenging stuff.

3. As parents we need to KEEP IT REAL.

Deuteronomy 6:7-9 has this undercurrent that talking about God should be NORMAL in your home.  Praying for others should be NORMAL.  Have we made this, as my pastor likes to say, “Abeenormal” (or as Groeschel would say, “Weird”)?  We’ve got to grow up a generation of young people who don’t think that God is just a “part” of their lives– He’s everything.  I love that Groeschel shared how he offers a fatherly blessing to his kids every morning before he leaves.  [Wow.  What a legacy that would be to Evie.  I can't believe I had forgotten about that one!  Glad I'm reviewing my notes!]  Groeschel simply stated, “If it’s not real to you, they won’t do it.”  So is prayer real to you?  Is the Word real to you?  Is truth real to you?  Is integrity real to you?  Is grace real to you?  Even we ministry-types need to repent of ever putting “the work of God” ahead of His work in us.

In the words of Simon Cowell (but for totally different reasons): “The bar has officially been raised.”  Imagine the end.  What do you want your kid(s) to become?

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Kissing Thumper: Thoughts About Prom #thinkorange

April 29, 2012

Last night, I was awfully jet-lagged from the Orange Conference flight home; but my wife had made me a better youth leader by promising that we would go see a group of students off before prom (so I was going). I’m glad I did.

MK just loves taking pictures of students during those awesome life moments, so I got to kind of hang back with Evie and reflect, project, and think about life in general. I had more than one proud papa or proud mama tell, “Enjoy this [meaning Evie being little] because pretty soon she’ll be going to prom too.” I said she wasn’t allowed just yet. :-)

I’ve still got at least fourteen years, but it did have me thinking.

In that moment, Evie’s greatest concern was kissing her Thumper (the bunny from Bambi) doll and gnawing on his face. One of these days, she is going to have far more perilous concerns. Some “Thumper” may be wanting to kiss and gnaw on her at prom night 2028, and I was thinking about what needs to happen between now and then to equip her to succeed under those very real pressures.

I want her to be so in love with Jesus that, when some befreckled dweeb with Justin Bieber hair bats his eyes at her that she crushes without being crushed.

This morning I was listening to a cd I bought at the Orange Conference with her. It’s all about how God made her, God loves her, and Jesus wants to be her friend forever. I figure that, with this whole relationship with God thing, if I stay in “neutral” (ok stuff but not leading her to Jesus: stuff like Yo Gabba Gabba, Disney, Dora the Explorer, Justin Bieber, or Raffi) I’m not going to be moving her towards Jesus. And, yeah, there’s definitely stuff that will grow her up feeling entitled and give her an attitude (I would consider that “reverse”..won’t name names because I’m not the judge).

But if I can move into first gear (“forward”) from the beginning and inch her closer and closer to a relationship with Jesus then maybe (just maybe) I can rest a little easier on prom night 2028. There are no guarantees. But I’d rather bet on Jesus than that red one-eyed pickle, a princess, an “exploradora,” a hearthrob, a folk artist, or even her old daddy.

She’s got to feel a part of a bigger story. And that starts now.

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Solomon’s Little Ponies: Where Is Our Trust?

March 22, 2012

In my first seminary class, my professor presented us with the following verse…

1 Kings 10:26

Solomon accumulated chariots and horses; he had fourteen hundred chariots and twelve thousand horses, which he kept in the chariot cities and also with him in Jerusalem.

Then he asked the question, “Is this a good thing, a bad thing, or neutral?”

We all kind of scratched our heads. I, being the kind of guy who likes to at least take a shot, said that it was a good thing, a sign of God blessing Solomon.

He gave me an, “Oh yeah?” look and then showed this verse…

Deuteronomy 17:16

16 The king, moreover, MUST NOT acquire great numbers of horses for himself or make the people return to Egypt to get more of them, for the LORD has told you, “You are not to go back that way again.”

Woops.

I guess the logic in the whole thing was the fact that God didn’t want any king to be relying on his own ability to broker deals and treaties and build up a huge army. God wanted the king to depend on Him.

So…it had me thinking.

As parents, what is the object of our trust?

You definitely want to be a good parent and be safe and all that, but we can farm out the whole trust thing to something beside God:

In Baby Einstein I trust!

In the Joneses (those people I’m trying to keep up with) I trust!

In Parenting magazine I trust!

In the opinion of my peers I trust!

I’m not saying that these things are bad in and of themselves. Maybe Baby Einstein will get your kid that scholarship to Stanford. Maybe the Joneses are doing some positive things that are worth emulating. Maybe Parenting magazine has some good tips. Maybe your friends’ opinions are worth listening to.

Horses and chariots aren’t bad in and of themselves, yet God forbade them.

This is a trust issue. Where will you place your trust first?

If you’re working on cultivating a little genius but not sharing God’s Word with your kid, you may have a problem.

If you’re teaching your kid the value of “stuff” instead of the value of love, you may have a problem.

If you’re looking how to mold your little image-bearer (of God) into any other image, you may have a problem.

If you’re looking to the approval of your buddies instead of God’s approval, you may have a problem.

What’s crazy is that Solomon looked like he had it all, when he was really, subtly spiritually bankrupt. This was even before the “let’s have 1,000 women” thing.

What good is it if we look like we have it all together but realize that we didn’t invite God to the party when it’s all said and done?

God gave you a kid.
Thank Him.
Pray to Him.
Depend on Him.
Trust Him.

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“You’re Not Alone. God Is With You.” #fpuforum

February 21, 2012

Last Thursday, I was able to go with my team mates to Fresno Pacific to their Ministry Forum to hear Francis Chan give a series of messages and answer questions about following God.

My orange ears were on the whole time; and I kept hearing references to how Chan raises his family. Here are some things that stuck out to me:

* We shouldn’t focus on the family; we should focus the family on God’s mission. He means this. He’s doing this. His daughters are growing up knowing that the Chans follow Jesus’ call to serve others. More on that later.

* It’s OUR responsibility as parents to make faith personal in our own homes– that way our kids don’t have a stagnant, boring (easily reject-able) faith modeled to them. Rather, they are blown away at the excitement of following God.

There are a few stories that follow those two points that caught my attention.

Chan had been a super-successful pastor/writer in Simi Valley (which I think it pretty affluent). He had it all (or at least my definition of “it all”): a loving wife, healthy daughters, a nice home, books, respect, a huge congregation, etc. About two years ago, he decided to leave his church to go wherever God wanted him to go. It was his wife’s idea to sell the house. She figured, “Hey, if we’re going to do this. We might as well leave no option to chicken out.” Burn the ships! What I love here is that, pregnant with their fifth child, the Chans decided that it was more worth it to follow Jesus than to pursue their own view of success.

Then after a year or so of touring Asia and seeing the church there, Chan realized that his time in the United States was not done. He wanted to reach the poor and voiceless in San Francisco (the “Tenderloin” area). Crazy idea for an amazing suburban “rock-star” pastor/writer to go reach poor people. But he knew that’s what God had called him (and his family) to do.

Also, he told us about being at the airport in Asia, preparing to come home. In Asian Christianity, he observed that there is no such thing as a lukewarm Christian. With so much to lose, why would you not, once you had crossed the line into faith, center your life around the Gospel? He told his family that he was worried about slipping back into the American cultural comfort-mindset. They had a real time of prayer as a family together.

Finally, he told us about his teenage daughter. Daughter stories get me these days no matter what. I can’t help but see Evie in them. [As I write this, she's rocking back and forth in her little swing, chewing on her hand, and wiggling her feet. She's silly, and she's beautiful. But I want more than that. I imagine an end for her. I want her to be a strong woman of God. A woman who makes disciples of Jesus. A woman who loves her husband and children. A woman who knows who she is and doesn't have to accept any watered-down versions that society has to offer.] Anyway, my ears perked up when he talked about his teenage daughter. For one, Chan actually allowed his daughter to travel alone to go on a mission trip to Thailand. He talked about how he wrestled with this one. She felt that God had called her to do it, though. But…young pretty Asian girl going to one of the blackest holes of sex-trafficking in the world? I know parents who are afraid for their kids to go to Hume Lake. But he let her go. He knew she wasn’t his to keep. She was God’s. He made arrangements for her to go and meet a friend in the airport. And then…

Imagine the feeling of being in an interview and getting this text from your daughter:

“Daddy, I’m at the airport. I’ve walked up and down it twice. I’m alone, and I’m scared. What do I do?”

Chan describes having to “take this one,” and texting his daughter back, “You are not alone. God is with you.” And then, immediately after the text, getting the woman who was supposed to meet her on the phone and making sure the two could find one another. [They kept missing each other. She was at the airport.]

I’m still wrestling with this story. All I know is that, on that day, God’s provision was very real to Chan’s daughter. On that day, she began a trip where I’m sure she was used by God in the lives of young people in Thailand. Her passion for others was being fueled while she was growing in wonder of how amazing God can be. Oh, and in the process, I’m sure she was provoked to discover who she was as a young woman of God. A thousand sermons were planted in her heart. Do we allow for similar lessons to be impressed on the hearts of our kids?

I am thankful for the time that I had last Thursday. Like I said, I’m still wrestling with all of this. But it affects my prayers for my family, for my marriage, and for Evie’s life. She’s mine, but she’s not. She’ll always be my little girl, but she won’t.

More questions than answers on this one.

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Orange Blogger Week: #Orange12, SHOTS!

February 7, 2012

Mary Kate trusted me enough to take Evie to her wellness doctor’s appointment this morning. She’s in school this morning, so our daddy-daughter date was to the pediatrician! Fun.

I knew this might be a tricky day when I realized that I had forgotten her bottle at home. Mercifully, she slept in the lobby as I filled out paperwork. Then we undressed and weighed her. The doctor gave me some advice here and there. Overall, she’s healthy. A parent’s dream, right?

Then we get to the part about the shots. She was supposed to have three today. I don’t understand them. I don’t understand what they’re preventing. I just know that it would be uncomfortable, I would not be the “cool dad” while it was happening, and she would cry a lot.

So I didn’t get them.

I just figured that I would let someone else do it someday. I mean, she doesn’t have any symptoms now; so why unnecessarily make things difficult. Besides, I didn’t want little Evie to associate her dad with pain or discomfort. I’m the cool dad, the one with the puppets and songs.

So I didn’t get the shots.

OK, hopefully by now you’re thinking that I’m crazy. Because, in spite of the reasons not to, I held Evie’s hands as she screamed in terror at what was happening to her. I knew it’s what needed to happen. I didn’t want her to grow up unhealthy. I wanted to give her her best chance. I was imagining the end, and I realized that (in order for her to be what I wanted her to be: HEALTHY) I had to do some things now.

It was uncomfortable.
I didn’t feel like the “cool dad.”
She cried.

But it all needed to happen.

Look, I’m not trying to be hard on parents on here. I don’t want to come down as being heavy-handed about investing in the spiritual lives of your kids at home. All I’m saying is, “Can we just vow to kick it up a notch?” Wherever you are in this investing in your children’s spiritual growth spectrum (whether a rookie or a grizzled vet), can we all make up our minds to grow in this area– to invest more?

How about the dad who just doesn’t ever pray with his wife? If you can’t make a relationship with God personal for your own marriage, don’t be surprised when your kids think Christianity is a joke later on.

Can you fight through the discomfort of starting something new to achieve an end (ONENESS) in mind?

How about the father who never prays with his children?

Can you fight through the fear of being labeled uncool (“C’mon dad! This is booooring!”) to invest in what matters most, an end (A SAVING RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS) in mind?

How about the father whose relationship with his teenager (well, let’s face it) isn’t going so well? You’re detached. Maybe you yelled at your daughter and haven’t apologized yet.

Yes, it may take tears (hearing her say how much you hurt her); but don’t you think you need to invest with an end (AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR KID) in mind?

Look, what I love about the Orange strategy is that it provides multiple tools for the same end: helping parents invest in their kids at home. We realize that what happens at home is JUST as important as what happens in the church. And we know that, sometimes, all we need is next steps. Something to invest in– to kick things up a notch. That’s what the Parent Cues are all about. If you don’t know what they are, please ask! They’re vital and designed with the end in mind.

So…take your shot. If you want inspiration, encouragement, or practical advice, talk to me (or your kids’ ministry leader or small group leader). This is our PASSION. We will learn from each other. But don’t wuss out…

Take your shots. Let’s celebrate together the shots that we take to be better parents.

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